At that time, I was also still doing a lot of my workouts, thinking that I was doing less than my normal, so I was good right? Wrong. If anything I was making matters worse by slapping on my ace bandage before lifting my weights. In hindsight, I can see that my “just push through” mentality was surfacing, and so I did what came natural. But what comes “natural: isn’t always the healthiest decision. I’m learning..
In that dialogue, one of the questions was, “Have you ever had to ‘wait on God’? If so, what are some practical tools you used that helped in your wait”? Whew! Ya’ll already know what it is with me! I feel like I been waiting on Jesus FOREVA to bring this man. (Where he at Jesus??) But aside from that, just in general, God has typically used waiting in my story. Even stuff I thought was a “suddenly” was more like a, “suddenly this appeared after I had been waiting all this time”! LOL.
Recently I had a conversation with a friend regarding a relationship I was foregoing. His words hurt when he said, “If you don’t pursue this, than you will always be alone.” OUCH. Well, I responded with the question, “Would you rather that I settle?” He went on to explain where he was coming from, that he just didn’t want me to be too picky. I get it. From the outside looking in, it could look that way. Especially to someone who’s path is so different…
In my early 30s, a sudden shift happened in the dry season that had lasted over 10 years of my nonexistent dating life. My heart cried out to God and He heard me. I asked God to move and He did. The floodgates opened, and y’all, it was literally raining men 😂🌧💃🏾. This new experience of hearing God say “yes” (with boundaries) is so opposite of hearing Him say “no” for so long that the sudden onslaught of attention and interest still has not been the easiest to navigate. In fact, I’ve had plenty of pitfalls, tear-stained nights and burdensome conversations. That being said, I also have had SO MUCH FUN.
Ever wonder what causes people to become addicted? We often see the homeless person clothed in the evidence of rough times. His body is dressed in torn, unclean items tossed over a malnourished figure that once held the healthy weight of muscle mass and fat. The overgrown, scraggly, unkept beard that drags down from the… Continue reading Drug of Choice
This weekend I prepared to share the story of my career, and how in hindsight I can see patterns that emerged. Though I didn’t get to share my journey in its entirety (I am rescheduled to do so at a later date), I decided to share on this here blog for those who may be… Continue reading There is Purpose in the Process
A very long time ago I envisioned what my life would be like. But then I grew up and learned that I was completely wrong. Anyone else been there?🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️🙋🏾♀️ Still, somewhere deep in the crevices of my heart there were some things there that were hidden, even from me, and God made sure to bring them to pass. Being a writer is one of those things.
How many Christians and church people are conducting their faith out of fear? I’m sure there are too many. What I learned through this experience, is that, just as scripture says, nothing can separate us from His love. After my healing, I learned to be more free in my faith, and I was released from feeling like I always needed to make the right choice.
How many are walking around today who look perfectly normal? How many appear to have it all together when their internal world is falling apart? You would be surprised. Many are probably surprised at this post. I have shared in parts about my struggle with mental health issues before, but never to this degree. I hope that someone is encouraged that even though it can take a while, the pain does end.
Of course, it was still going to be a while before I would see some real progress in my healing journey. My mind, at this point, felt like it was being eaten alive by rats and like they were gnawing at my brain. I so desperately wanted relief.
What tools are you using in fighting your experience with mental health? Do you have someone or people in your life to confide in with your battle?