Tag Archive | waiting on God

Lessons From A Cat

Yesterday my roommate left for Africa.  It has been a long awaited dream that is now being fulfilled and I bless God for that.  She has been preparing Ben-Samuel all week long for her departure as best she could.  With limited understanding between species who knows how much he actually understood when she told him frequently she would be leaving for a while.  Though I care about Ben he is really her cat and so she does all the heavy duty stuff for him.  When he was sick she took him to the vet.  She changes his litter, buys all his food and is his primary caregiver.  He has also gotten into the habit of sleeping in her room most nights.  For that very reason I have been a little concerned about his response to her departure.

When we got Ben it was clear he was suffering from abandonment and really enjoyed people. He was so excited to be in our home that he made sure he was apart of every conversation and even made it a point to sit at the kitchen table to join us for meals!  I have never seen such a cat.  When we are lounging around the house he easily climbs on our laps and even computers just to snuggle.  But lately I have noticed he has gotten even more attached to my roommate and thus I wondered how would he respond to her absence?

I can’t help but see a parallel of this season with God and Ben’s relationship to my roommate.  She made sure to spend extra time with him, love on him and even tell him that she would be gone for a little while, but if Ben is anything like me, those things would fail in comparison to the seemingly never ending absence.  You see, I can look back on this prior year and see how God was preparing me for the season of “silence”.  I can see how much He was overwhelming me with feelings of His love.  I felt it everywhere and wondered at people who did not.  I can see how He was revealing Himself to me and who I am to Him in my heart and mind, flooding me in every waking moment of this revelation.  I can see now it was all preparation for the darkness to come.

I tell myself cats are like kids and are resilient.  I tell myself Ben will be ok and though he doesn’t know it, her leave is only for a short while.  I must also believe these things about myself.  I am learning resilience these days.  I’m learning to be secure in a love I most days no longer “feel”.  I’m learning to trust the Word over my emotions and I’m learning that though I may still desire a sign a sign has already been given.  Many signs in fact.

Right now as I type this post Ben is sleeping on my leg.  He has joined me for an early morning snuggle after trying to eat my cereal.  For some reason he likes people food…

And in that picture I am shown the need to adapt.  And the need to seek out other ways to have our needs met.  And I am grateful for this picture which I’m sure is given from the Father of all creation.

family-picture

SHALOM

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Blog Series: Encouragement From Marrieds To Singles (Kelly Evans)

Me: How long were you single?

Kelly: I got married when I was 34, so 34 years!

Me: When you think back on your time of singleness what is one word you would use to describe that time and why?

Kelly: One word: mine. I want to say “adventurous” because I did enjoy being on the go and doing things that were out of the box and a little risky.  I want to say “free” because I could go wherever, whenever I wanted, the way the world views “free”.  I chose the word “mine” because those other adjectives describe marriage too. Singleness was mine because that’s just it, it was mine.  It didn’t belong to anyone else, it belonged to me.  Views that were mine, my walk with God, what God wanted to do through me, the enjoyments that were mine, friendships that were mine, the family that was mine, time that was mine, decisions that were mine, the adventures that were mine, etc.  It was all mine!

Me: What were some of the hard times of your singleness?  What were some of the great times?

Kelly: A hard time of singleness for me was when God revealed whom He wanted me to marry and then having to wait (5 years to date, 2 more until marriage) for that time to come.  Within that time it was the hardest to be single!  I would go through ups and downs in the trusting and waiting.  I would believe some days and not others.  I would pity myself some days and be excited about this revelation other days. Some great times were in college, never dating anyone and pouring out my time and life for reaching high school kids with the gospel and living in community with some girlfriends in the city (“Daisy Girls”) while intentionally seeking God and relationships with our neighbors!  So many significant memories in those times!

Me: Why do you think God incorporated a longer season of singleness in your story than some of your peers?

Kelly: Hmmm, I’m not sure.  I read in a book years ago now, (quite paraphrased) that it’s easy to string a single person along and say there must be something God is working out in you and so you must surrender, etc.… that kind of encouragement, or once you let go of the thought of marriage you’ll meet the one! The book went on to say that, “No. Marriage is designed by God and so is singleness.  One isn’t in preparation for the other, they just are.  You’re single because God has it for you to be single.  You’re married because God has it for you to be married.”  Having that understanding helped me to embrace being single and gain a better idea of the purpose of each season.  Both, no matter where you are, single or not, are purposeful and intentional simply because that’s where God has you.  Both are wonderfully good. Outside of that thought though, I think both my husband and I would say we needed to grow relationally, personally, emotionally…but then I think about when I had our son and I remember thinking more holistically, maybe it was more about the timing of our son’s life?  Maybe it had nothing to do with us and what we may have been waiting on/for, but more about the legacy God wanted to use us to put into motion and He had the whole picture in mind.

Me: What advice would you give to those who are waiting on God’s best and desire not to settle in their relationship choice?

Kelly: I would say, while it’s easy, like super easy, to compare and want what another has, waiting is the best.  You’re single because that’s what God has for you.  Your friend is married because that’s what God has for them.  When you release the comparison, freedom comes.  Freedom to be you, in the circumstance He created you to be in for that time.  Don’t settle for anything but what God wants for you.  He’s made you a certain way.  Be patient for the one God will use to refine the crap out of you and bring out the best in you.  Pray for that someone to see you as God sees you and pray the same for yourself, that you’d see them as God sees them.

 

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Kelly Evans has been married for a little over 2 years and has a son who is 1.5 years old.  She is owner and operator of KRA Photography.  She is from Monterey, CA but has called Cleveland home for the past 9 years.  She loves spending time with others and exploring new places!

The Choices We Make

Last night I had the opportunity to have dinner with an old friend. It had been nearly ten years since our last dinner but our connection had not changed. We updated each other on career, relationships and faith. We talked about how weird it was that not too long ago we were in our early 20s and now we are in our early 30s. Time flies and things change. But neither of our relationship status’ had changed and that wasn’t on either of our agendas.

I found it interesting how we had responded to God’s timing in this. We had both learned to wait on the Lord. We are still learning.  The food was amazing and the conversation flowed easily as if it had not been interrupted by a ten year gap. And then came the question that made me smile and almost laugh. “Have you heard from your ex?” She said. Even now I smile writing this.  The ex she was referring to was the one I wrote my first book about. The one I fell head over heels for and thought my life would end when his betrayal punched me fiercely in the gut. “Its been a few years since I’ve heard from him” was somewhat of my response. She proceeded to update me on his life and I was surpised and not so surpised. It seems we, he and I, had made very different choices along the path of life. It seems his choices, atleast in the area of relationships, were still as self destructive as they were 10 years ago, when I thought I couldn’t live without him.  When I thought he was my whole world. Then I learned Jesus was. 

While reflecting on our paths I thanked God for His protection. I’m so grateful that he helped me to make the hard choices. And they were so hard. This path of surrender has been so hard, but atleast now I see more of its purpose.

I told my friend I never knew how much I needed to be alone. I still need to be alone. It has become very clear to me this time of being alone and making the hard choices is a calling on my life. I have been able to overcome heartbreak because I was called to and I therefore I had the grace to.

I realize that even though we are called and chosen, we still have choices.

When we follow Christ and listen to Holy Spirit, we have the ability to choose well.

I pray that you choose well.

In other news, my blogger friends and I will be discussing sex and celibacy from a Christian point of view. Below are the details. I hope you can join!

 
SHALOM

The Art of Waiting

I have an interview today. It is the one I’ve been wanting for 3 months now. 3 very long months. When talking about it with a friend she mentioned how waiting is God’s way with me and how much better this time of waiting has went compared to the last time in my career (which took place some 9 years ago).  But even in my excitement at this potential movement in my career I sobered up when realizing the wait may be a little longer than I expected. There are a couple of components to the interview. Multiple individuals are involved and therefore multiple people’s schedules are involved. As a result there may be a longer time frame then I would prefer for closure with this particular opportunity (in all honesty it has already been longer than I preferred). I of course am not putting all of my eggs in one basket. I am keeping an open mind to other opportunities but it’s a little difficult when you feel there is divine intervention involved. When you feel the Lord has given you a word, a promise, and then circumstances cause you to wait for that promise.

My history with Christ has been that way. 9 years ago He gave me a word but then told me to wait on the fruition of that word. It took 5 months but it came to pass.

Lately as I scroll through my FB timeline there are baby pictures everywhere. If not pics then news of pregnancies. It seems amplified lately and I’m not sure why. Normally this type of thing doesn’t bother me but maybe its because of my own transition in this season and waiting for some things to be birthed in my own life, I’m feeling bothered. And maybe it’s because I’m quickly approaching my 33rd b day, I’m waiting once again in my career, still waiting in the area of relationships, and realizing how very little control I have in this life.

The one thing that is clear to me is, I am learning the art of waiting in order to learn the art of living eternal. I simply cannot live for this life. I simply cannot hold on to anything temporary.

I have been emptied out. There has been much fruit from this emptying out and there is much fruit to come but the harvest does not negate the pain from the sacrifice. The longevity of the path of surrender can be overwhelming at times but that is when the supernatural manifests. When you simply cannot do it in and of yourself He does it through you.

Christ in us, the hope of glory.

SHALOM