Tag Archive | healing

Why I’m Glad God Gave Me A Roommate…Again 

Hello there! Please check out my guest post on Single Roots “Why I’m Glad God Gave Me A Roommate…Again”!
SHALOM

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Jesus Started With Twelve


Last night I had my second speaking engagement and it went so well!  The whole process of me receiving this opportunity was so unexpected that I can’t help but see God’s hand in it.  While I was unemployed last year I worked filing individual tax returns during the tax season.  One day a client came in to sign off on his paperwork.  He was not my client but my coworker’s client, however because my coworker was unavailable I handled the sign off.  Although this should have been a simple task, things did not run so smoothly.  There were a few errors that needed fixing and I had to speak with management to correct them.  This caused a few trips to the back room, getting on the phone with management and working feverishly to fix the issue.  I was so worried the client would think I was the cause of the error and that I was unprofessional.  Instead he was laid back and very pleasant.  He made small talk and asked me what I did professionally in the off season.  Well, since I was unemployed I didn’t want to mention that aspect of my life so instead I said off handedly, “Oh, I’m a local author”, to which his eyes lit up!  Turns out he was a higher up at a local library and they featured local authors in the library!  He asked for my book but I had just sold out at my first speaking engagement (thank You Lord).  Instead I took his card and agreed to contact his assistant.  Fast forward one year later and I found myself walking into a library that has my picture in the lobby on an easel along with 3 other stellar individuals, a shelf with a row of my book so that readers could “check it out” and a podium and mic set up on stage.  Oh yea and a parking spot that said “Reserved for speaker”.  “Wow!” I thought.  “Where is God taking us?!”  (I was referring to both myself and my mom who was faithfully by my side.)  Mom had mentioned she was praying for the event and hoped for a large crowd.  While we definitely had a good group, it was not the large crowd she desired.  I know to her and others there were just a few individuals present but to my eyes the room was full.  It was full of His glory, His purpose and maybe even a few angels.


Last night I met a guest who shared some personal challenges he was having in this season.  I knew that even if no one else showed up, I was there for him.  The evening was such a blessing as I got to share my testimony of the pain I faced and how God met me in that pain.  I then shared on what I’ve been learning in becoming a healthy single and looking for a healthy dating relationship.  I was so encouraged and inspired by this open door that I sailed home that night on a cloud and woke up this morning with a smile😊.


4 years ago I started this little blog not knowing it would eventually lead to me becoming a published author.  Now a business is developing and income is being received.  Speaking engagements are being booked and skype calls are being made and I am just trying to keep up.  It truly is exceedingly abundantly more than I could have thought of.  So even if there are just a few present, those few matter to God.  I firmly believe that if we are faithful over a few He will make us rulers over much.  He will give the increase.  All we have to do is be faithful and keep moving forward.  Even Christ Himself practiced this protocol.  Because He was faithful with just 12 the gospel has now spread to most of the world over thousands of years.

And He only lived until the age of 33.

Imagine what He could do through you in your lifetime!

SHALOM

Does God Care About My Vote?

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In about 24 hours America will have a new President. A new Leader. And that’s a pretty big deal. Leadership determines the direction of a team. Leadership entails power and authority and influence. There are lots of scriptures in the Bible that teach us how important leadership is and how important the government is. This particular election has stirred up a lot of people’s emotions. People who normally wouldn’t vote are voting and people who normally would are not. Either way, someone new will be in office tomorrow night.

When I first became a Christian I was pretty vocal about my views on the presidential election at the time. My convictions and thinking were set in stone and many of those around me echoed my sentiments. And though some of my thinking has changed over the years, I wouldn’t go back and change my vote, simply because I appreciate the fact that I was sincere about my choice. There was no one swaying me to vote a certain way. If anything I probably swayed others.

This time around however I feel the temptation to be swayed. I am told to “pray about my vote”. The Christians I have been around have historically voted a certain way though many claim to not be a certain party. They have had their certain views and highlighted their certain issues that mean the most to them. And that’s fine for them. But what about for me?

Every election year I pray for God to give me a “heart” regarding politics. I want to do research and have an opinion and care about the things concerning this country. And I do care. But often that is not reflected in researching politics. Often it is spending evenings on my knees weeping for my city and spheres of influence to walk in freedom, healing and wholeness.

I’ve struggled with my role in these elections. I’ve struggled with making the wrong choice. But the very people I have admired seem to be functioning from the same bias and deception as the ones they point the finger at. The body seems to still be functioning from a lesser state of maturity when it comes to these matters and I am disheartened once again. Until I remember that even leaders are not perfect. Even leaders, very good ones, miss the mark. I cannot put my trust in man…

In this season I am learning about choice. I am learning that as we mature in Christ and become Sons He starts asking us to make the choice. He starts giving us free reign because we are in Him and He is in us and we need not fear our decision because it is Him functioning in us. And yesterday while discussing these issues with a wiser woman I am affirmed that while God cares for me, He probably doesn’t really care about my vote. At least not in the way I used to think. Could it be that it’s more about the motive of my vote than my vote itself? Could it be that it’s more important to vote according to the revelation that you have of your eternal identity at this point in your journey than who you actually select on the ballot?

Some people are losing sleep over this election. They are so stressed and anxious about their future because they believe their future is predicated on its outcome. I don’t share that logic. Yes, we are affected by the decisions of our leaders, but as an eternal being I believe we can exert greater influence in the spirit than what any carnal person (man or woman) could possibly demonstrate. We, as in the body, (not one individual person) can put to flight more than 10,000.

If you are like me and have struggled with making the wrong choice in this election than I share with you what I feel God is saying to me. It is your choice and it will work for your good. Stay true to who you are and know that your future, this country’s future, is in His hands.

And whatever you do…don’t forget to vote :-).

 

SHALOM

 

 

When God Is Silent (And You’re Single)

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Check out my FIRST guest blog post with Single Roots!  They are an AMAZING ministry and resource for Christian singles!  In this post I discuss mental health issues and being a Christian.  Often it’s taboo to discuss such topics but I believe freedom and healing come through transparency.  Click to here read more…

Busy Yet Waiting

It’s funny how you walk with God long enough and you start to notice patterns in your life.  Lots of my patterns have to do with waiting.  Often there will be a period of stretching, pressing, waiting and then a release.  In this season there are some new things happening.  The roommate is fully moved in and I have to marvel at how seamless that transition was.  One day she wasn’t there and then all of a sudden she was.  After 3 years.  That situation shows me how much He cares for us.  He knew I needed a period of recovery and He knew just how long that recovery period should be.

Other new stuff…open door after open door continue to lead the path before me with my book.  I’m excited to be a vendor this week at a popular poetry event happening.  God has given me so much favor, I simply don’t deserve it.  He’s been stirring up a desire in me to build my business.  I’ve been working, working, working, and I’m intrigued by what the final outcome will be.  There are so many resources coming to me.  I am surrounded by go getters and make-it-happeners.  No one in my inner circle is standing still.  I like those seasons.

But even in the busyness there is still down time.  There is still quiet.  I still feel stretched in some ways.  I’m still waiting in some ways.

I’m waiting to hear His voice again.  The way I used to.  I’m waiting to start a family, though I told my mom this weekend there won’t be any grandkids if I’m waiting in a few more years.  She and I have a differing of opinion on when it is too late to have children…

For now, my books are my babies.  I am pregnant with purpose and I don’t say that to be super spiritual.  It is simply a fact.  I feel much like Paul, poured out like a drink offering.  I know the sacrifices made were for the written word.  The projects I’m working on.  The people my story will help.

The roomie and I will have our first roommate outing tonight.  I look forward to it.

I look forward to each day these days.  To be home with a cup of tea and my laptop at my finger tips.  Everything is cozy and comforting and that helps the hurt I am still in recovery from.

Fun photo shoot 😉


SHALOM

 

The Light & Darkness

This season has been full of high highs and low lows.  Similar to Dicken’s “A Tale of Two Cities” I can see the best and worst. I can see both the light and the dark.  They somehow coexist.  The beauty is that Christ is the same, no matter how tumultuous life gets.  He peaks at me through the people who love me, through their desire to connect with me.  He hides behind the open doors I know only He has the power to unlock.  I glimpse Him but He does not bombard me with His heart and presence and power the way He has in the past.  The way I was so used to.  No, He is maturing me.  Have you ever had a season like that?  Where you are being matured but you don’t really want to be?  He is developing the weak things in me…

Hebrews 12:12

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees…

My roommate moved in last week!  She is such a blessing.  I know she is one of the many gifts the Father has given me in this season.  Her smile, her laugh, they are life.  It’s amazing how similar we are in temperament.  It’s amazing we met through this little blog.  God is an amazing connector!

I got to have dinner with an old friend.  She wanted to buy my book and actually bought 2.  She said she could have bought it a year ago but she needed it now.  God is using it in her healing.  I am blessed.  The next day I met a woman at a friend’s party.  She bought my book too.  God keeps selling them…

He is near, even when I can’t feel Him.  He protects me when my heart is in anguish.  When I’m sitting next to someone who was at one time the fabric of my life, my being, and yet we do not utter a word.  We are like two passersby, when once we were like Siamese twins.  I know the separation had to happen and I’m glad it did.  Still, some things in life are not easy to recover from.

I just received my manuscript back from my editor!  I began reviewing the changes last night, sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in my hand and my roomie not too far away.  I love this season.  I love Fall.  I look forward to seeing how the Father will manifest His will in this new year of Rosh Shoshanna…

 

I really like this song right now..

SHALOM

 

Healing in Layers

About a week ago I accidentally knocked my hand against my book shelf.  I was sort of in a rush as my friend and I were packing for a road trip (shout out to Ji!) and then all of a sudden BAM I was slowed down.  Intense pain followed and I looked down to see what the issue was.  The skin was split open on my finger and blood was running profusely.  I apologize for those of you with queesy stomachs!  Its about to get a little real here on this post!

I rushed to the sink, ran my finger under the faucet and applied a towel and some Peroxide before looking for a bandaid.  The cut looked kind of deep but I had plans for the weekend and no insurance to cover that kind of injury so I kept it moving.  Over the course of the trip I applied new bandaids and kept an eye on the cut.  I knew I could have used a stitch or two when I saw the white meat appear after the  bleeding stopped.  But again, I was going to have to be a “G” in the situation and let my body do its natural healing thing.  My friend was great and gave me tips as she has suffered her own self inflicted injuries recently.  After the trip I’m not gonna lie, I started getting concerned.  It was such a deep cut and I was wondering how in the world the skin would ever close up.  My friend asked if it scabbed over yet and I shared it had not.  At her recommendation I added some Neosporin which I do feel helped.

Within days I noticed extra layers forming over the white part of the cut and I felt a sense of relief.  It was healing!  The skin was growing back!

At this point I am reminded of a scripture God gave me earlier this year:

Mark‬ ‭8:22-25‬ 

“Then He came to Bethsaida; and they brought a blind man to Him, and begged Him to touch him. So He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the town. And when He had spit on his eyes and put His hands on him, He asked him if he saw anything. And he looked up and said, “I see men like trees, walking.” Then He put His hands on his eyes again and made him look up. And he was restored and saw everyone clearly.”

So you’re probably wondering, “Nicole, what does this have to do with you cutting your finger???” Well, my friend I will tell you!  In this passage Christ heals a man but the healing is not instant.  Initially the man sees a little but his vision isn’t 💯. Instead it takes another time for Christ to touch the man.  And its not like this is some imperfect being who doesn’t “have enough faith” to heal someone!  We are talking about Jesus here folks!  So it must be that some wounds are so deep they need to be healed in layers (see the connection now?)😉.  Some wounds need to have the bandages changed a few times, have some antibiotic cream applied, need to have a closer eye kept on them to prevent infection.  As much as you may want you cannot just slap a bandaid on it and keep it moving.  Though there are times God does allow for that!  There was a time a man was lame and all Christ said was “Take up your bed and walk ” and the guy walked!  Those are the times I personally like best!  Instant healing!

But there is something to be learned and appreciated when your healing takes time.  You develop in perseverance, self control, and the like.  You adjust your expectations of who God is and who you are.  God is not a genie in a bottle ready to give you everything you want when you want it and you are not a needy, insecure person who needs His manifestation to feel loved (though I’m saying “you” I’m talking to myself folks).

Instead you learn He sometimes chooses to build your character and faith through the wait.  He sometimes handles you with care and heals you in layers.  And although at times you wonder if the healing will ever come, you realize it is coming but–quietly. 

Slowly. 

And over time.

SHALOM 
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