During the celebration of love last week, as you can guess, my own love life became a topic of conversation more times than I cared to discuss. I understood this was going to be a given, and something I would just need to “bear through”, so I navigated the questions as best I could. “Are you dating? What are you looking for? You’re so attractive, why aren’t you seeing anyone?”, etc…etc… Even when the question wasn’t asked out loud, it loomed in their eyes as they pondered my single status in confusion.
I have other friends who do not have close families, and so we have been intentional to connect during these times, so that we have someone. For the last three Christmases, one of my besties and I have taken trips that have been phenomenal. There have been some sad moments of course, but the comfort of sharing these moments with someone who gets it, is invaluable. I understand that the road I am called to walk is definitely rocky, but there are several around me who are walking it with me, and that brings its own joy.
Have you been there? Have you had an issue that you have been dealing with, but have not gone to God about it? Have you felt like, He has more major things to worry about in the world like this world wide pandemic, or other world affairs? The thing is, in my journey, I have numerous testimonies of God showing up for me, even in the smallest things. My friends do too! He has shown us time and time again that He is, “Intimately acquainted with all our ways” (Psalm 139:3) and that, “He cares for us” (1 Peter 5:7).
In all of the stories I’ve heard concerning domestic violence, the theme in them is that, even with all the craziness and chaos and danger, it’s still hard to leave that person. I can resonate with that. I know that we logically may not understand desiring someone who is harming us, but the heart is complex. When we give our emotions and being to someone else, it can be hard to just walk away.
These are just a few instances that have occurred over the years in regards to my complexion. When I shared them with a guy I had dated more recently in my adulthood, (before making him sit through the hour-long documentary “Dark Girls”), his response was to brush off my concerns as being immature nonsense that happens while growing up. “Then why are there rarely strong, beautiful, darker skin women portrayed in our media? Why is the typical light skin woman the one on the videos or in the BET (Black Entertainment Television) rom com?” To that, he had no response. Because he knew. Our people are still ashamed.