One of the graces I have had on my life is having an intimate connection with God from a very young age. I could not tell you when it started, only that it had to have been cultivated through my family’s faith, along with my pre-school years at “Save Our Children” in Toledo, Ohio. Powerful name isn’t it? My family enrolled me at the tender age of two-years-old where the foundation for my spirituality was laid.
I have to marvel as I write this that my steps were ordered even before I started walking.
Cloudy memories of four-year-old Nicole standing in the pews at the sanctuary in the school and worshipping her Creator, surface every now and then. I even received a prophecy years ago about God being with me as a small child, and He never left. Wow. His mercy is great! But there were many years in my youth that I did not “feel” this nearness. I believed, but He was not at the forefront of my life decisions. Then, when I was a 19-year-old college student at Miami University, I experienced an “awakening” of sorts where Our intimacy was restored. Ever since then, I have not been the same, and I treasure that gift of falling in love with Yeshua.
I was reminded this morning that it is our intimate relationship with God which allows us to have access to Him for even the smallest of things. Sometimes we do not feel comfortable, or confident enough, to go to Him about certain things. I for one, have been dealing with an issue with a social media platform that has literally blocked me from using it. This has been going on for weeks now and I was extra discouraged this morning when I tried, once again, to access it, only to be denied. It’s been particularly frustrating because I had a marketing strategy that I intended to roll out this year to grow my business and believed God had been leading me in this strategy. This platform is a huge network for small business owners and now my business has not had the networking opportunities as a result. Throughout this whole process I have vaguely prayed about the situation, but realized this morning, that I haven’t really interceded about it. I think this is because I minimized it. I figured, God has bigger stuff to worry about. And even in my own life, there have been more major issues to be concerned about, like this injury I’ve been recovering from, my own physical health, and my best friend’s wedding that’s fastly approaching.
Have you been there? Have you had an issue that you have been dealing with, but have not gone to God about it? Have you felt like, He has more major things to worry about in the world like this world wide pandemic, or other world affairs? The thing is, in my journey, I have numerous testimonies of God showing up for me, even in the smallest things. My friends do too! He has shown us time and time again that He is, “Intimately acquainted with all our ways” (Psalm 139:3) and that, “He cares for us” (1 Peter 5:7).
I had a conversation with a friend recently and she shared her own fears about her relationship with God. She felt that her heart wasn’t in a good place because she was dealing with the loss of a loved one and was very angry. I shared with her my own vulnerable moments with God. That I have expressed my own anger with God using very colorful language, and you know what? He didn’t strike me down. He didn’t react in anger Himself. Instead, He had compassion and He understood, and that is because, we have a relationship.
God is big enough to handle our anger. He is big enough to carry our pain.
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I think also, we can forget that God is a Person, and that, since we are made in His image, we have a personality, because He has a personality. Even though there are so many different types of personalities in the world, and we are all so different, I suspect that that is because He is so vast. I believe that if we get all of these personalities mixed together in one place (like heaven, per se) then we will get a glimpse of His totality because He exudes all of these personalities within Himself.
My encouragement to my friend was to be real and transparent in her faith. God meets us in that. He is not surprised by our anger. He is not shocked by our tears. That expression of our emotions is the humanity that He created, and in my experience, instead of it pushing Him away, He draws closer.
He does this because He knows that it is in those hard moments that I need Him even more.
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I had to remember these things this morning as I searched my own heart and realized I had been holding back in coming to Him in prayer about this social media hinderance. I knew that He was showing me my missed opportunity in not seeking Him. Why had I not gone to Him? Did I not know how much He cares about the things that I care about? Have I not been on this journey with Him all these years for Him to have shown me, time and time again, that He is with me, and for me, and desires to be involved in all things concerning me? That was the impression on my heart as I realized my error.
I say the same to you dear friend. What is that thing that you’ve been holding back from Him? Trust Him with the small things, as well as the big.
I have since prayed and asked Him to move on my behalf concerning this thing. I also am sensitive to the way He will move and the timing of His movement, having learned over the years it may not be the way I desire, but it will be.
In other news, I wanted to give you guys an update on my foot injury as I’ve spent a significant amount of time blogging/talking about it, LOL! So you at least deserve to hear the testimony concerning it! I have been healing speedily due to physical therapy, and I’m so grateful! I asked God to redeem the time I wasted when unintentionally preventing my healing by fully getting off of my foot last month. I since learned that this method would have been great, had I not had torn ligaments and tendons in addition to the fracture. Hindsight is 20/20! But God is so good you guys because even before the foot thing got out of hand, my chiropractor had suggested I go to Physical Therapy and gave me a referral, which I actually ended up using once the foot was a real issue. Let me tell you those people have been amazing! God has been in the midst of it all and has ordered my steps. There were many days where I was discouraged due to the constant pain and the never-ending process that loomed ahead, but He has had mercy on me. He has moved and I did not have to get surgery which was my desire! I will keep you guys posted, but here is a snippet on my night out last night! I was so excited to be out and about again because my social life gives me LIFE! LOL…
Anywho, thanks for your prayers and stay tuned for more updates on my foot! LOL (Rockin’ the Timbs cuz they are the only boots that fit over my ankle brace!)
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SHALOM
