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Tis the season for transition. For moving. For meeting new people. God is opening my heart. He is opening me like a flower that is blooming. The season is changing. There are lots of prophecies coming forth. Lots of confirming words. Lots of things to look forward to. I share my struggles with my sisters. With my roommate. With our cat. I’m going to miss him when I leave, but I’m grateful they will not be too far way.
After five years I’ll be saying goodbye to my landlords. The same ones who came to my 30th Zumba party and my first book release party and gave me a job when I was laid off. Such love. Such favor. Such family.
I’ll be saying hello to the woman who raised me. The woman who needs me in this hour. The tables have turned. I am honored to be there for her. I recognize the sacrifice that is shown on my part.
Sacrifice displays love.
There is a sacrifice of another sort in my belly. It has been there for quite a while. He has been there for quite a while. And even in the messy way I have responded to the sacrifice, He, like a loving Father moves towards and not away.
At His nudging, I practice opening my heart. I practice having conversations and being open and letting new people in. I do this because I realize the only way we can receive a gift is to open our hands to receive it. Open our hearts to receive it.
It is almost June. It is almost summer. The season for blooming is here…
Father give us grace and courage to be open. Give us grace to bloom.
There is a quiet these days. Each morning I wake up and its not like the mornings of years past but its not like the mornings of months past either. Instead of feeling overwhelmed with the Father’s love, or being tormented with fear (which has been the case), I feel–quiet. I feel stillness. I feel a victory from overcoming this season and an encouragement to keep moving forward.
I’ve been writing a lot lately. Not on this here blog, but on my laptop, with the cat, under my fleece. My roommate has been so gracious to listen each evening as I share the short story I’ve been working on. She is so affirming. A fellow writer and with much more experience, her compliments and feedback hold even greater weight. This story I’m writing (which is actually almost complete) brings me such joy. There are some prophetic elements to it as well which has been very interesting. Hopefully I’ll be able to share more on that in the future. I’m reminded that a while back Jesus told me to fight for joy. He said, You need to find things in life that give you joy. A naturally melancholic personality, this didn’t come easy. But we can do all things through Christ and I have learned (am still learning) the art of joy.
Writing brings me joy.
My bestie visited me recently and we stayed up ’til 4am. I haven’t done that in YEARS. We reminisced on college days, when we were just teenagers and in love with Jesus. Now we are in our 30s. She’s a mom and a divorcée. I’m an author, still single with no children. We have come a long way. “We are the best of the best” I told her. And I meant it. I believe God desires His best to be manifested in our lives. And I believe that best can only be manifested if we stick with the path He created for each of us.
She and I have stuck with that path.
It has not been easy. Anyone reading this blog sees clearly my ups and downs, but always He sustains me.
Writing my short story shows me how the author uses circumstances and people to get the protagonist to where she is going. I’m sure that’s how the Father is when He writes our story. He puts people and situations in our lives, ultimately to bring out the person He created before the fall. Before the womb. Before the dysfunction.
There was a period of time where I was shocked by the storm. Shocked by the darkness. Now looking back, I can see that it was just a shadow, it was not death itself. If it were death it would have taken me out. I thought it almost did, and maybe it almost did but I know to Him, it was just a shadow.
Now that I’m on the other side (still fighting of course) I can see I was bigger than that storm.
And I wouldn’t be a better version of myself had I not gone through it.
I pray the same for you.
A few things that bring me joy…