He comes over to my desk and updates me on things to do. I realize quickly I need to take notes but there isn’t time so I take notes in my head. I think about waitresses and how you know the really good ones are the ones who don’t need to write anything down. I focus intently on his words concentrating with all my mental capacity to be equivalent to one of those stellar waitresses. It must work because I successfully remember all the important things.
Afterward I ask about his meeting yesterday. He was out of the office all day at a work conference. His eyes light up as he discusses the agenda and what he took away from it. He is the visionary functiong in his identity. I am the administrator come to help bring the vision to pass.
He says he learned about branding and that each of us, the 3 current employees of the company, will be developing our individual brand. I love it. Once again I am reminded of how there is opportunity for growth here. The package this blessing has come in really caught me off guard and even some of the grunt work that first week was difficult to deal with, but now we are getting somewhere.
All week I have poured over numbers, diligently working to get things in order and catch him up for the last 3 years. This week I have been in my element. It is slowly coming together. There have been days I have been in the office all by my lonesome, there is so much autonomy and freedom. A far cry from the office gossip and micro-managing I was under. Even when I am not alone in the office each person is so busy studying their own project, no one is paying attention to me. It is a place of rest. It is a place of recovery and healing.
I have battled and warred in this season. The war has been within me but God has kindly and graciously kept me from losing my sanity. He has opened doors unexpected and is teaching me wholeness in a way I didn’t know existed. A way I didnt know that I needed. Mental health is so needed.
Each night I leave that he is still there working he thanks me. As if he isn’t paying me to do this job. As if I don’t need him just as much as he needs me. It is just his heart.
So humble and kind. I have never before experienced such leadership.
She wakes up in the morning to sunshine. Of course there’s sunshine, it’s her first official day of work! It’s going to be a great day!
She selects a pencil skirt, top and scarf. Today she puts on her flats and carries her heels in a bag. She learned her lesson at orientation yesterday; flats are vital for walking downtown. Although she is only a 10 minute drive from work she forgot to factor in rush hour traffic. Apparently everyone works downtown!
But the 20 minute delay does not deter her. It only makes her feel apart of the hustle and bustle of this city she has grown to love ❤️. She makes it to the parking lot and successfully uses her badge to swipe in. She remembers to take the backway into the office building and types in the code correctly the first time. Of course she does, because it’s going to be a great day! She takes the elevator and uses the key to the office only to find its already unlocked. Her boss had his meeting moved and he was there after all. They greet and smile and all is pleasant. She sets into her desk and quickly a load of files are laid out to be sorted. After 4 hours they are still in need of sorting.
She chooses a local market from lunch and enjoys the short walk up the street. A salad, chips and snacks for later find their way into her hand. She is surrounded by suits and skirts; other downtown people who have the privilege of working in swanky offices and well to do atmospheres. Her atmosphere may not be as wealthy but it is surely blessed. In many ways it is the desire of her heart. It is the Father opening an unexpected door.
The rest of the day is productive and the job is taking shape. She is needed. Her gifts and talents are adding to the betterment of this business and as with all her other jobs there is purpose here.
It is a relaxing atmosphere and very flexible. She is taken care of and looked out for once again.
She is loved.
In other news, I am now available for speaking engagements!! Book me 😉
Also my friends and I were featured in Essence Magazine! Click here and make sure to check out #12 😆.
I sat across from them in their living room, cup of tea in hand, and spilled out my story. I told them I had been laid off 5 months prior and although I had a seasonal job, I had yet to lock in longterm employment. I told them that even though the company I worked for had struggled for 3 years, I didn’t see the layoff coming. But even though it was unexpected, it was still a blessing. I shared all the stuff I had not wanted to share with them because I didnt want them to worry. They were my landlords and I wanted them to be secure in receiving rent. But now I had to come clean because my savings was dwindling, I had no job prospects and the tax season was coming to an end. I had a little over a month and my lease would end. I wanted to let them know I wouldn’t be renewing if nothing changed.
So I sat there with this couple who has been in my life these 4 years. They came to my book release party, purchased multiple books, came to my end of the year gathering and supported many of my endevors. It didn’t dawn on me I had made it into their hearts. It didn’t dawn on me they deeply cared for me.
But when I shared about my unemployment their care became quickly evident. The wife shared about her own recent layoff and the husband, well, he offerred me a job. He explained he’d been looking for an assistant, someone to help him get his books in order and my skill set qualified me for the position.
So while it took courage for me to have that conversation and I was battling fear on my way to have it, it was proven to me that once again fear is the lie.
I met with him and we laid out our resumes. Who did I have before me? I marveled at his accomplishments. You never know who’s in your circle of connections.
The very thing I had been waiting on this whole time was right in front of me. But I had to change to see it. The process I’ve been in these 5 months has been so necessary to go through. There were so many toxic and unhealthy mindets I needed to be purged from. A very large toxin was fear. Even now I still practice overcoming it, but the greatest deliverance has already taken place.
The thing about fear is it seems so real. But its not. God is real. And love is real. And if you’re bold enough to push through the fear you just may find your blessing is right downstairs.
I watched a periscope from my friend today where she shared about the unexpected outcome of some events in her life. She had been counting down to this point in the year and had an expectation of what it would look like when she got here. She was dissappointed, crushed even, with what she found. I can relate. I had such high hopes about this year. Such an optimistic, expectation of what lied ahead. But instead of promotions and financial blessings and the next level of glory I desired, I became engaged in a battle I did not want to fight.
I have faught many battles in my faith and have had victory over them all (He always causes us to triumph). But never have I ever felt I was fighting alone. Until this season.
This season revealed some deeply hidden things. It exposed a lot of lies and false mindsets and beliefs. It showed me that God’s mercy has been the reason I have had the strengths that I have. He showed me this by taking them away.
Life does not always turn out the way we plan or expect. When faced with this season there were many times I wondered if I would make it through the transition. Yes, I’ve seen His victory so many times but not with this particular situation. How could I receive deliverance if it has been an issue for this long?
Finally before my final breakthrough I came to a point of believing that “Though He slay me yet I will trust Him”. No I did not believe He was slaying me but I did believe it was in His power to help me and He was choosing not to for His own purposes.
God has done too much in my life for me to leave Him but I see now He is the One keeping us together. It is His love, His strength, His grace. Not mine.
Here are some really good moments that have happened lately…