I’ve had the privilege to travel to many different places since that first cruise both domestically and internationally. I actually received a prophetic word about it. A woman who I esteem said she saw me on airplanes. I was skeptical because at the time, I was knee-deep in grief and did not see myself willy-nilly vacationing. But that was exactly what happened and ended up being a vital part of my healing.
At 38 and counting, I’m grateful for the Father’s path for me. I’m grateful that He put me exactly where I always wanted to be in so many ways. I’m grateful for the things that are on the horizon, especially with my business(es). But the question tucked in between all of that gratefulness is,
Will I have children?
From my very own womb? And in these moments of questioning, I am Hannah. And Abraham. And David. Who all asked the same thing. With the same yearning. And the same burning desire.
I have been blessed to have found an outlet for the current of life, in my friendships. These women have adopted me into their hearts and named me their sister. They say the word so effortlessly and fill it with a grace that smooths out my broken edges and difficult ways. They have been the very sponges to polish my jarring weaknesses. They have been God’s hands to uphold me in the midst of trauma, loss, heartbreak, and pain.
I reflected back on the last 20 years, which were far from horrible. I felt that most of my greatest experiences were actually happening now, in my 30s. I realized that, though life has been far from easy, the experiences and opportunities I’ve had are probably very unique from many outside of my community, and academic acquaintances.
I’m in Arizona right now visiting friends. The same friend I was maid of honor to just last year. The same friend who has relentlessly pursued me in the course of my grief and devastation. When I learned my mom passed away she flew in from Haiti within days. 1,633 miles. She was on a… Continue reading The Beautiful Challenge
Today is my 36th birthday. When I look back on my life journey these 35 years (and 1 day) I have lots of thoughts and feelings. I am in awe of how the Father manifested Himself to me as a 19-year-old. Even though I believed since I was a child, it wasn’t until college that… Continue reading A Sunny Day
People have been asking me what I’m planning for the big 3-4. I honestly have no plans. My emotions have been up and down (ok, mostly down) about the upcoming event and I don’t know how I will feel when it gets here. Will I have a series of bursts of energy and strength… Continue reading Getting Older
I watched a periscope from my friend today where she shared about the unexpected outcome of some events in her life. She had been counting down to this point in the year and had an expectation of what it would look like when she got here. She was dissappointed, crushed even, with what she found.… Continue reading Unexpected Paths
This weekend I put the pedal to the metal. Literally. My BFF planned to celebrate her b day in style and I planned to be there. Even in my planning I couldn’t have foreseen the significance of my presence. There have been so many shifts in my life in regards to my relationships in this… Continue reading Here’s to the Future!
I entered the room transformed. My previous attire consisting of sneakers, loose workout pants and an equally loose off the shoulder top were replaced by black skinny jeans, glittery shoes and the birthday girl’s personalized shirts. I had gotten rid of that cute black hat that was hiding the untidiness on my head and had… Continue reading The Party