I have been ghosted at least twice in the last six weeks. The very first time I was in shock. I had no idea that someone who seemed to invest their time, money and interest in me could suddenly just bounce. Oh, but I am learning fast people! It happens. And it happens to the best of us. So, after my second experience, I had to give myself “the pep talk”, which pretty much boiled down to: “It’s not you Nicole, its them”.
Recently I had a conversation with a friend regarding a relationship I was foregoing. His words hurt when he said, “If you don’t pursue this, than you will always be alone.” OUCH. Well, I responded with the question, “Would you rather that I settle?” He went on to explain where he was coming from, that he just didn’t want me to be too picky. I get it. From the outside looking in, it could look that way. Especially to someone who’s path is so different…
I have been blessed to have found an outlet for the current of life, in my friendships. These women have adopted me into their hearts and named me their sister. They say the word so effortlessly and fill it with a grace that smooths out my broken edges and difficult ways. They have been the very sponges to polish my jarring weaknesses. They have been God’s hands to uphold me in the midst of trauma, loss, heartbreak, and pain.
I reflected back on the last 20 years, which were far from horrible. I felt that most of my greatest experiences were actually happening now, in my 30s. I realized that, though life has been far from easy, the experiences and opportunities I’ve had are probably very unique from many outside of my community, and academic acquaintances.
I was listening to a podcast this morning that I’m really growing fond of. The host is a Christian single woman who’s found herself in her mid 30s with her life looking nothing like she thought it would. Sound familiar? Well this morning’s interview was with another woman who has a strong faith but got… Continue reading Some Things Just Come Easy
Some 18 years ago I met some people who would become “forever friends”. I know this because they told me so. Sadly, at the time of, I admit that I wasn’t a believer of the term. At a young age I had already experienced rejection by my peers which caused extreme trust issues that only… Continue reading A Family Affair
As soon as we landed I felt different. A long awaited smile broke through under my mask and I’m sure the sunshine reflected the gleam in my eyes easily. In just 6 hours I was transported from 30 degrees with snow to 80 degrees with sand. It’s kind of miraculous when you think about it,… Continue reading Christmas In The Sand
Years ago, I did what fools do. I planned out my life. Ever heard that joke that says, “Want to make God laugh? Then tell Him your plans for the future!” Well, I did. But I still didn’t think the saying was applicable to me. In my delusion, or umm, pride…or maybe, naivete, I thought… Continue reading My Thoughts on (Extended) Singleness
Sometimes God is just funny. Like, I normally think about Him in terms of being loving, and gracious, and kind. Caring, and gentle, and intimate…but not really funny. Today, I had to literally laugh out loud though, because I realized, He really does have a sense of humor. The Guy is a straight up comedian.… Continue reading Do You Want a Cat?
Yesterday I made the move. And it was right after I spent the holiday out of town with dear friends. I had packed everything ahead of time because I didn’t want to be stressed the night before trying to get things together (after my flight got in). I am a great planner and I knew… Continue reading Moving By Faith