Tag Archive | God’s promises

Not A Good Match


I remember the last relationship I was in, God kept telling me “No”.  At one point around this time I was doing laundry and found a mismatched pair of socks.  The socks looked so similar to each other but they were not exact.  I felt He was using it as a picture to show me that yes the person I wanted to be with was similar to who He had in mind, but not the same.  It was not a good match.

These words were echoed by a friend recently.  They observed that while this person may be good, they were not good for me.  I find comfort in that observance because they know me well.

God knows me better.

He knows my insides and my outsides.  He knows my tendencies to be attracted to the wrong type and the difficulty this 11 year journey of singleness has been for me.  He knows how much I hate being bored at work, and how easy it is for me to take up a multitude of projects to stay busy.  He knows these things and uses them all in the revealing of my true self.

I told my friend last night, I feel I have lost it all in this journey.  On the outside there is much fruit and that is probably all people will see.  But on the inside, I have nothing left I am holding on to.  I have “counted it all as dung”.  She understood.  She has let it all go herself.

We keep letting it go.  As our sisters continue to age without their dream being brought to fruition.  As God moves in His very specific areas and has us waiting in others.  As we lean not to our own understanding and follow Him…

When Adam saw Eve He knew that she was the compliment to him.  No other species had existed that could be as compatible as she.  There was something other worldly and supernatural that occurred between this couple when this realization occurred.  I look forward to having my own experience of that sensation.

One day, there will be a good match and it will be evident to all those who know me.

It will not be an “almost” but it will be a “completely”.

SHALOM

Advertisements

Facing and Slaying Your Giants

Numbers‬ ‭13:30-33‬ ‭

Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses, and said, “Let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it.” But the men who had gone up with him said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we.” And they gave the children of Israel a bad report of the land which they had spied out, saying, “The land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great stature. There we saw the giants ( the descendants of Anak came from the giants); and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight, and so we were in their sight.”
In this passage the Isrealites have just come from Canaan, a land flowing with milk and honey. A land of much fruit. The Lord told them to go there in preparation to receive their promise land. The problem was the promise seemed to have giants in it. When the spies went they found the reward God spoke of but it pailed in comparison to the enemy they would need to fight for it. Atleast, in their minds it did.  

Many of us are familiar with this passage and we know the outcome. We know that over and over again Yaweh proved His deity. He had delivered the Israelites so many times. He had rescued them from slavery, showed His hand with powerful plagues and even fed them with manna to sustain them in the wilderness! They witnessed so many signs and wonders at His hand one would think they could never doubt Him. But when it came to the promise, they became fearful of their own stature. They became fearful of what seemed to be larger than who they were.

Maybe that is what happens when we look to ourselves to overcome the battle? We become smaller in our own site and our enemy is magnified. I have faced some “giants” in this season. I have wondered if God would deliver…could deliver. Even after all of the miracles I have experienced. Yes He helped me to overcome then but could He overcome THIS situation? If He could, wouldn’t He have done it by now?

Notice the Lord did not speak to the Israelites about these “giants” beforehand. He only spoke to them about the promise. He only said “This is the land I am giving you”. I believe God doesn’t tell us about the giants because they are not giants to Him. All enemies will be used to take us further into our destiny and calling. I also believe He does not waste His time on what is temporary. Giants are temporary. The real promise lasts forever…

In this passage Caleb shares that he too scoped out the land but he was certain they could have victory. What did Caleb see that the other spies did not? I believe He saw the eternal. He saw with the lense of the Lord. He did not see the temporary but He saw the eternal victory that is wrapped in the Word of promise.

Rest assured He has already spoken your victory over you. The giant isn’t really a giant at all. It is just another tool to propel your forward into purpose.

SHALOM

Waiting on The Reward

I’m sitting in one of my favorite restaurants. Drinking beer and eating lamb. It’s heaven. Except I have battled in my mind 60 days and my shield of faith is wavering.  Experience and history tells me this is only temporary and there will be a breakthrough. Just gotta keep moving forward. So I came here for comfort food and decided to start writing. Adele blasts in my headphones and for some reason it sounds like a worship song. An anthem declaring me and my friend’s victories from all that we have endured. I remind myself of the words spoken over my life and God’s word. 

He gives us a future and a hope. 

He completes the work He started. 

This cannot be my end with Him.  Maybe it is just a new beginning.

It has been 2 months and even with the elation and joy the waiting started with those high emotions haven’t been seen since the 2nd week.  Not that I am struggling financially or hard pressed to work, it is just the path. The waiting on top of the waiting on top of the waiting.  I can see its purpose. It gives me a testimony when I have doubt. It shows I couldn’t have made it without Him. Still, its not easy. Waiting is never easy.

I was told 2016 is the year of reward. That God is better than any Accountant and has accounted for every tear wept in the waiting and the sacrifices on this journey. That really resonated with me since Im called to Accounting. I take pleasure in keeping a record.

Im sure my tears are floating around a bottle somewhere on the Lord’s shelf in heaven. Not just for myself but tears for my loved ones. 

I know they are reminding Him of His promises. I cant wait to see those promises.

I cant wait to see Him.

SHALOM

End of the Year Review (2015)

2015 started off with my good friend flying in all the way from Haiti to spend the New Year with me! We ended up at her friend’s neighbor’s house and captured the moment with a selfie.  
February brought in a huge blizzard but that didn’t keep me from celebrating the release of my first book “How to Overcome Heartbreak: Recovering from Misguided Love”. On Valentine’s Day I slipped and slid all the way across town to pick up homemade cupcakes from my friend who has her own bakery. I did think about re-scheduling the event due to the many accidents I was seeing while I was out and about getting ready, but I’m glad I did not. Apparently 6 inches of snow and ice does not scare Clevelanders when there is a holiday to be celebrated. I had a great turnout for the first release party.  
March was full of planning for the larger book release party being held on my b day. I scheduled the caterer, made the playlist, booked the venue, and hired the photo booth people. April came in style and my 32nd b day with it. My 2nd release party was a smash and I was overwhelmed by the love of the Father. This was truly a time of celebrating the work He had done in my life thus far regarding healing, wholeness and relationships. I was able to share my story at the party via the youtube video I created. The food was amazing, the photo booth was so much fun and everyone had a grand time. It felt like we were in some ritzy club in New York. God is faithful.   
   
That very next month my friend flew me in to Boston to continue my b day celebration. We were spoiled by her rich sister and enjoyed walking the city. We visited MIT, ate at a 5 star hotel and took the Harvard tour. We even watched Legally Blond in honor of being in Boston 😆.   
 

That same month my friends and I made our way to our alama mater to walk the campus and celebrate our 10 year anniversary!   

 

And of course there was Mother’s Day…  

The summer was full of time with friends, b days, graduations and wedding celebrations. My high school BFF dropped in for a visit and we hung out with our fam.    

My college BFF flew in from Florida and we kicked it Cleveland style. Then I made my way to Cinci to celebrate my friend’s 32nd b day. In August I got to celebrate my friend’s wedding. She married as a 50-year-old virgin. God is faithful.    

    
   
 The big event came in September when I took my first international trip to Haiti. I could not have imagined what a blessed time I would have there and how naturally beautiful the country is! My friend spoiled me with showing me its beauty and I enjoyed the tropical waterfalls, the pools, the mountains and so much more. I will never forget Haiti.    

   
 October revealed another first. I took my mom to Disney World for her b day.  She had never been before and we had a grand time.    

 I also had the blessing of selling more books!  

 But little did I know, God had another huge blessing in store for me around the corner. After 3 years of waiting, He released me from my current employer. Once again, I had learned contentment, I had learned joy, I had learned endurance, and His grace was sufficient to finish the assignment that once brought me to tears. I honestly did not think it would ever end. I projected 2 more years of the same. I succumbed to my destiny of boredom and humility. But He saw, when I didn’t see. He believed when I didn’t. And He showed me that once again, there is an end date to the waiting. 

 I had another miracle occur in November. Some much needed healing from a broken relationship. My mantra for this year has been “healing 2015”. It has even been passwords on my work computer. I have been so adamant about getting healed from childhood issues and other relationship trauma. God has shown me the purpose of my singleness and why He kept saying “no” to all the previous men who pursued. He has been making me into the woman He originally intended. That takes TIME. I never wanted to give Him time, but that is what He asked for. When the Creator of all things asks you for something, you can’t help but give it to Him.  

This week I will plan for a gathering at my house. I will show a slide show of highlights from 2015 and all of the blessings God has given. He has overtaken me with blessings (Deut 28:2). I will celebrate the New Year with women who love me with His love and I will look forward to the new door He will open in my career. 

 I am still in waiting. I am waiting in my career (again) and I am (still) waiting for the man He has promised. I am learning that I am a work in progress and always will be. But I’m thankful that the burden is not on me to complete this work. It’s on Him. And He already did it on the cross.

  
Shalom & Happy New Year!!!!