All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the next move. All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the wrong move. I had these thoughts in my mind that said, “What if I am outside of God’s will if I apply to this job? What if I am outside of the will of God if I apply to that job? What if, what if, what if…”Have you been there? Do you struggle with excessive, compulsive thoughts that have no rhyme, reason or even logic to them?
I have been blessed to have found an outlet for the current of life, in my friendships. These women have adopted me into their hearts and named me their sister. They say the word so effortlessly and fill it with a grace that smooths out my broken edges and difficult ways. They have been the very sponges to polish my jarring weaknesses. They have been God’s hands to uphold me in the midst of trauma, loss, heartbreak, and pain.
Sometimes God is just funny. Like, I normally think about Him in terms of being loving, and gracious, and kind. Caring, and gentle, and intimate…but not really funny. Today, I had to literally laugh out loud though, because I realized, He really does have a sense of humor. The Guy is a straight up comedian.… Continue reading Do You Want a Cat?
Last night I conversed with a woman who’s known me nearly 20 years. You know you are really getting up there when your friendships last decades. You know you are blessed as well… We have been running our spiritual race side by side since our early college days, where our competitive natures led us to… Continue reading Rare Air
I was walking with a friend outside. It was midday summer; perfect and sunny. We had just come from lunch where we had the benefit of eating outside. The venue allowed dogs because we happened to be in a “dog city” so folks were happily bringing their dogs to this particular restaurant. My friend is… Continue reading Unparalleled Peace
Today I got to spend the day with a woman who has been used greatly in my family. Decades ago she became one of my grandmother’s very best friends. When my grandmother passed away, she was there, standing in the gap. She and my own mother grew closer and I knew she was like a… Continue reading Thoughts on Suffering
I’ve been pretty vocal about my feelings in this season of “recovery”. I know the Father sees it as recovery though for me it has just felt sad. Lots of negative emotions have been my experience (loneliness, broken heartedness, anxiety) and that was precisely why I ran as hard as I could away from the… Continue reading Thank You Tiffany
It’s been a whirlwind of a year and though I received so many presents during my last birthday I wasn’t able to enjoy them all. It wasn’t until I found a few in a drawer that I even knew some had been forgotten. I texted a friend asking if she was the one who had… Continue reading Unwrapped Gifts
Job 8 Then Bildad the Shuhite replied: 2 “How long will you say such things? Your words are a blustering wind. 3 Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right? 4 When your children sinned against him, he gave them over to the penalty of their sin. 5 But if you will seek God earnestly and… Continue reading Nothing Like Job’s Friends
10 months of bliss came to a sudden halt as a few turn of events made it clear I had to walk away. God is funny in that way, making His presence known so mightily even when He is speaking so quietly. I did the hard thing once again. But this was hard for so… Continue reading Tis Better to Have Loved and Lost