I have other friends who do not have close families, and so we have been intentional to connect during these times, so that we have someone. For the last three Christmases, one of my besties and I have taken trips that have been phenomenal. There have been some sad moments of course, but the comfort of sharing these moments with someone who gets it, is invaluable. I understand that the road I am called to walk is definitely rocky, but there are several around me who are walking it with me, and that brings its own joy.
What? I’m able to walk? I should be walking? This was news to me! I had been hobbling, rolling, crawling and hopping around for the last 6 weeks, but no walking. I had been doing everything BUT walking! Now, I can just walk?!
Humans are complex beings, and, in my opinion, women are even more complex. More specifically, in the Black community, we have a history of jealousy, discord, competition (normally centered around gaining attention from men) and pain within female-to-female relationships. We see this in those popular reality shows such as “The Housewives” series. Yes, maybe TV amplifies issues for ratings sake, but, if we were really on the up and up in these relationships, producers would have nothing to work with to portray our interactions in such a negative light.
In my early 30s, a sudden shift happened in the dry season that had lasted over 10 years of my nonexistent dating life. My heart cried out to God and He heard me. I asked God to move and He did. The floodgates opened, and y’all, it was literally raining men 😂🌧💃🏾. This new experience of hearing God say “yes” (with boundaries) is so opposite of hearing Him say “no” for so long that the sudden onslaught of attention and interest still has not been the easiest to navigate. In fact, I’ve had plenty of pitfalls, tear-stained nights and burdensome conversations. That being said, I also have had SO MUCH FUN.
How many Christians and church people are conducting their faith out of fear? I’m sure there are too many. What I learned through this experience, is that, just as scripture says, nothing can separate us from His love. After my healing, I learned to be more free in my faith, and I was released from feeling like I always needed to make the right choice.
How many are walking around today who look perfectly normal? How many appear to have it all together when their internal world is falling apart? You would be surprised. Many are probably surprised at this post. I have shared in parts about my struggle with mental health issues before, but never to this degree. I hope that someone is encouraged that even though it can take a while, the pain does end.
Of course, it was still going to be a while before I would see some real progress in my healing journey. My mind, at this point, felt like it was being eaten alive by rats and like they were gnawing at my brain. I so desperately wanted relief.
What tools are you using in fighting your experience with mental health? Do you have someone or people in your life to confide in with your battle?
All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the next move. All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the wrong move. I had these thoughts in my mind that said, “What if I am outside of God’s will if I apply to this job? What if I am outside of the will of God if I apply to that job? What if, what if, what if…”Have you been there? Do you struggle with excessive, compulsive thoughts that have no rhyme, reason or even logic to them?
Years ago, I did what fools do. I planned out my life. Ever heard that joke that says, “Want to make God laugh? Then tell Him your plans for the future!” Well, I did. But I still didn’t think the saying was applicable to me. In my delusion, or umm, pride…or maybe, naivete, I thought… Continue reading My Thoughts on (Extended) Singleness
Last night I conversed with a woman who’s known me nearly 20 years. You know you are really getting up there when your friendships last decades. You know you are blessed as well… We have been running our spiritual race side by side since our early college days, where our competitive natures led us to… Continue reading Rare Air