In my early 30s, a sudden shift happened in the dry season that had lasted over 10 years of my nonexistent dating life. My heart cried out to God and He heard me. I asked God to move and He did. The floodgates opened, and y’all, it was literally raining men 😂🌧💃🏾. This new experience of hearing God say “yes” (with boundaries) is so opposite of hearing Him say “no” for so long that the sudden onslaught of attention and interest still has not been the easiest to navigate. In fact, I’ve had plenty of pitfalls, tear-stained nights and burdensome conversations. That being said, I also have had SO MUCH FUN.
How many Christians and church people are conducting their faith out of fear? I’m sure there are too many. What I learned through this experience, is that, just as scripture says, nothing can separate us from His love. After my healing, I learned to be more free in my faith, and I was released from feeling like I always needed to make the right choice.
How many are walking around today who look perfectly normal? How many appear to have it all together when their internal world is falling apart? You would be surprised. Many are probably surprised at this post. I have shared in parts about my struggle with mental health issues before, but never to this degree. I hope that someone is encouraged that even though it can take a while, the pain does end.
Of course, it was still going to be a while before I would see some real progress in my healing journey. My mind, at this point, felt like it was being eaten alive by rats and like they were gnawing at my brain. I so desperately wanted relief.
What tools are you using in fighting your experience with mental health? Do you have someone or people in your life to confide in with your battle?
All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the next move. All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the wrong move. I had these thoughts in my mind that said, “What if I am outside of God’s will if I apply to this job? What if I am outside of the will of God if I apply to that job? What if, what if, what if…”Have you been there? Do you struggle with excessive, compulsive thoughts that have no rhyme, reason or even logic to them?
Years ago, I did what fools do. I planned out my life. Ever heard that joke that says, “Want to make God laugh? Then tell Him your plans for the future!” Well, I did. But I still didn’t think the saying was applicable to me. In my delusion, or umm, pride…or maybe, naivete, I thought… Continue reading My Thoughts on (Extended) Singleness
Last night I conversed with a woman who’s known me nearly 20 years. You know you are really getting up there when your friendships last decades. You know you are blessed as well… We have been running our spiritual race side by side since our early college days, where our competitive natures led us to… Continue reading Rare Air
I was walking with a friend outside. It was midday summer; perfect and sunny. We had just come from lunch where we had the benefit of eating outside. The venue allowed dogs because we happened to be in a “dog city” so folks were happily bringing their dogs to this particular restaurant. My friend is… Continue reading Unparalleled Peace
Today I got to spend the day with a woman who has been used greatly in my family. Decades ago she became one of my grandmother’s very best friends. When my grandmother passed away, she was there, standing in the gap. She and my own mother grew closer and I knew she was like a… Continue reading Thoughts on Suffering
ECCLESIASTES 4:9-10 AMP “Two are better than one because they have a more satisfying return for their labor; for if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and does not have another to lift him up.” Over a year ago I… Continue reading Walking Together