Tag Archive | healthy relationships

Eyes To See

As I mentioned previously on this little blog things are moving quickly.  Yesterday we did the inspection on the house and while there were several things brought to my attention I was assured by the professional (the inspector) that these items were a given for a house of this age.  In fact, it was in good condition given its age.

An interesting phenomenon occurred yesterday.  I found that while the inspector was highlighting certain things my eyes became open to them also, either while he was speaking and sometimes even before he spoke.  I told him that just being around him was giving me “eyes to see”.  It is an interesting occurrence that we can be influenced to that capacity by people around us, even those we have just met.  I can see this as being symbolic of my spiritual journey.  Being “around” Christ these 15 years has greatly influenced me and helped me to “see”.

Recently I had an interaction with a family member and I was greatly discouraged to find that they did not “see”.  It had been a while since we had spoken and the reason for our disconnection was due to their own narcissism and selfishness.  I felt that I was called to implement strong boundaries to focus on my own health and healing during a season of recovery.  I had hopes that one day the relationship could be restored, so when they reached out I was surprised, but hopeful.  Unfortunately upon interacting with them I soon learned that they had not grown.

They had not healed.

They were (still) toxic.

I did not understand why they were still in the same place.  How could all this time have passed and they did not see?  But I was reminded of the gift I have in community and the teaching I am under.  I am surrounded by people who value healthy relationships.  I am surrounded by people who desire to grow and change for the better.  I am influenced by those around me.

Maybe one day that relationship will be restored but for now I must continue on my own path.  The Father has given me all the tools needed to accomplish His purpose on this path and I am grateful for the greatest tool He has given:

His love.

Now I understand so much why He revealed Himself to me as He did.  He told me years ago He would be anything that I needed and I so have needed Him as Father, Husband, & Family.

I pray that God brings forth His desires in the earth.  As an intercessor I can’t help but to do so.  But I also understand we all have choices.  And I choose to value myself above someone else who will try to devalue me.

I choose to protect myself from others who may bring me harm.

I choose to see myself as He sees me.

SHALOM

Right in Front of You

Sometimes I tend to make things, I mean life, more difficult than it needs to be.  Like the time I was unemployed for 4 months and I spinned my wheels looking for a job.  I attended workshops, used a resume coach, updated all social media platforms and even made business cards!  I was determined to get a job.  But what happened?  I did all that to only have one fall into my lap right when I gave up trying.  I didn’t have to prove myself for it, I didn’t need a stellar resume and I didn’t need a memorized branding statement. 

I just needed to BE.

I admit it, I’m an overachiever.  I go the extra mile.  I love to accomplish goals and make things happen.  In a word, I am driven.  But I realize that when you follow Christ He prefers to be the driver. And sometimes He will make the road a little easier in some areas so that you can have a smoother ride.  Usually when you (I) least expect it.

Yesterday I was approaching one of my favorite couples (my pastors) and proceeded to ask the wife (who is also a licensed health coach) what I should do about this cold I can’t seem to get rid of. Now, out of the corner of my eye (we were standing in a grocery store) I spotted an herbal tea made specifically for soothing the throat, but I disregarded it for a few minutes. Then I referenced to it and she agreed that would be a great remedy along with some local honey.   The thing is I ignored the tea initially because it seemed too easy of a solution.  I felt I needed to WORK for the answer.  

So often I am trying to work for the answer and God is saying, “You have already done the work by your obedience. Now just reap.”

There are many instances in this season when God keeps giving me the desires of my heart.  I mean the exact desires.  His Word says if we delight in Him He will give us our desires. He is truly a keeper of His Word…

In other news: 
SHALOM!

The Choices We Make

Last night I had the opportunity to have dinner with an old friend. It had been nearly ten years since our last dinner but our connection had not changed. We updated each other on career, relationships and faith. We talked about how weird it was that not too long ago we were in our early 20s and now we are in our early 30s. Time flies and things change. But neither of our relationship status’ had changed and that wasn’t on either of our agendas.

I found it interesting how we had responded to God’s timing in this. We had both learned to wait on the Lord. We are still learning.  The food was amazing and the conversation flowed easily as if it had not been interrupted by a ten year gap. And then came the question that made me smile and almost laugh. “Have you heard from your ex?” She said. Even now I smile writing this.  The ex she was referring to was the one I wrote my first book about. The one I fell head over heels for and thought my life would end when his betrayal punched me fiercely in the gut. “Its been a few years since I’ve heard from him” was somewhat of my response. She proceeded to update me on his life and I was surpised and not so surpised. It seems we, he and I, had made very different choices along the path of life. It seems his choices, atleast in the area of relationships, were still as self destructive as they were 10 years ago, when I thought I couldn’t live without him.  When I thought he was my whole world. Then I learned Jesus was. 

While reflecting on our paths I thanked God for His protection. I’m so grateful that he helped me to make the hard choices. And they were so hard. This path of surrender has been so hard, but atleast now I see more of its purpose.

I told my friend I never knew how much I needed to be alone. I still need to be alone. It has become very clear to me this time of being alone and making the hard choices is a calling on my life. I have been able to overcome heartbreak because I was called to and I therefore I had the grace to.

I realize that even though we are called and chosen, we still have choices.

When we follow Christ and listen to Holy Spirit, we have the ability to choose well.

I pray that you choose well.

In other news, my blogger friends and I will be discussing sex and celibacy from a Christian point of view. Below are the details. I hope you can join!

 
SHALOM

The Last Few Days

These last few days I have been OVERWHELMED with people and their love. I know Christ is the One who gives good gifts and these people in my life are that good gift. In spite of my history of unhealthy relationships, drama and brokeness He flooded my life with love. My experience on this journey is such a testimony of His faithfulness. For some reason I believed a lie that I had anything to do with this faithfulness or His blessings, but no. He is faithful because He is faithful. That will never change and He doesn’t need a reason to be faithful. It is who He is.

2 nights before New Yrs I had a little gathering at my house. I served sweets and shared the slide show I made for 2015. The group that came were from various parts of my life and I was so touched they came to celebrate with me. Opening up my home was an act of faith and Im so glad I obeyed. We ended the gathering with powerful prayer and I know the Lord was pleased and heard us.  A few scragglers stayed behind and we fellowshipped in my kitchen until well after midnight. 

The next evening I kicked it with my girls and we brought in the New Year with old school 90s music on the dance floor. It was perfect. I just love when God gives you the desires of your heart😉. 

   
   
Then my good friend came over the next night. We talked for 6 hours over a bottle of wine. We talked about the past, present and future. We talked about our desires and God’s faithfulness. 

Just last night after a day of rest 2 more friends visited, one purchased 3 more of my books. I was so touched by the blessing of this unexpected ministry. To speak healing and hope to the brokenhearted is quite an honor when I myself have been so brokenhearted.

And I ended the evening with a last hurrah with the bestie from Florida. This woman whom I have known over 13 years. A woman who has loved me like a sister. I have been susceptible to the lies of the enemy regarding this friendship but am now healing and seeing truth. It is beautiful to see us coming into our own and manifesting true identity. Healthy boundaries and maturity go a long way. So does love…  I know these blessings are a result of answered prayer. He is giving wholeness and abundant life. He is preparing me for the new season.

SHALOM