Last night I had the opportunity to have dinner with an old friend. It had been nearly ten years since our last dinner but our connection had not changed. We updated each other on career, relationships and faith. We talked about how weird it was that not too long ago we were in our early 20s and now we are in our early 30s. Time flies and things change. But neither of our relationship status’ had changed and that wasn’t on either of our agendas.
I found it interesting how we had responded to God’s timing in this. We had both learned to wait on the Lord. We are still learning. The food was amazing and the conversation flowed easily as if it had not been interrupted by a ten year gap. And then came the question that made me smile and almost laugh. “Have you heard from your ex?” She said. Even now I smile writing this. The ex she was referring to was the one I wrote my first book about. The one I fell head over heels for and thought my life would end when his betrayal punched me fiercely in the gut. “Its been a few years since I’ve heard from him” was somewhat of my response. She proceeded to update me on his life and I was surpised and not so surpised. It seems we, he and I, had made very different choices along the path of life. It seems his choices, atleast in the area of relationships, were still as self destructive as they were 10 years ago, when I thought I couldn’t live without him. When I thought he was my whole world. Then I learned Jesus was.
While reflecting on our paths I thanked God for His protection. I’m so grateful that he helped me to make the hard choices. And they were so hard. This path of surrender has been so hard, but atleast now I see more of its purpose.
I told my friend I never knew how much I needed to be alone. I still need to be alone. It has become very clear to me this time of being alone and making the hard choices is a calling on my life. I have been able to overcome heartbreak because I was called to and I therefore I had the grace to.
I realize that even though we are called and chosen, we still have choices.
When we follow Christ and listen to Holy Spirit, we have the ability to choose well.
I pray that you choose well.
In other news, my blogger friends and I will be discussing sex and celibacy from a Christian point of view. Below are the details. I hope you can join!