I admit I can be an impatient person. Even after all these years and all the tests God has used to develop patience w/in me, it is not my preference to wait. But in the world of getting to know new people and developing relationships, I have come to value a person that takes their time.
This summer has allotted me with several occasions to meet new people but no matter the person, the outcome was the same: things moved fast. There were frequent phone calls and text messages and connections made, but always a tone of urgency and even insincerity. This time however I am intrigued to have a different experience. In the short time of our meeting, he takes his time. There is careful balance of showing interest, but not diving in too deep. It is nice when someone can correctly match the emotions and physical boundaries of a relationship with its developmental stage. I have been in so many situations where that was not the case and for that reason I appreciate it all the more.
I heard it said recently that women lose their mystery quickly these days. As Christian women that can be easy to fall into because many of us do not get pursued often so when it happens we can get so excited that we give away too much too fast (I have always struggled in that area). Then afterwards, often the man does not feel the need to earn what has already been given. He does not feel the need to rise to the occasion, because instead we lowered ourselves to it.
I’m trying to learn from my past mistakes. All things are redeemable with God and He makes all things new. I want to use this new opportunity to value myself better, stay true to my identity, and enjoy the slow building in the hopes that taking our time will produce something a little bit more longstanding.
These last few days I have been OVERWHELMED with people and their love. I know Christ is the One who gives good gifts and these people in my life are that good gift. In spite of my history of unhealthy relationships, drama and brokeness He flooded my life with love. My experience on this journey is such a testimony of His faithfulness. For some reason I believed a lie that I had anything to do with this faithfulness or His blessings, but no. He is faithful because He is faithful. That will never change and He doesn’t need a reason to be faithful. It is who He is.
2 nights before New Yrs I had a little gathering at my house. I served sweets and shared the slide show I made for 2015. The group that came were from various parts of my life and I was so touched they came to celebrate with me. Opening up my home was an act of faith and Im so glad I obeyed. We ended the gathering with powerful prayer and I know the Lord was pleased and heard us. A few scragglers stayed behind and we fellowshipped in my kitchen until well after midnight.
The next evening I kicked it with my girls and we brought in the New Year with old school 90s music on the dance floor. It was perfect. I just love when God gives you the desires of your heart😉.
Then my good friend came over the next night. We talked for 6 hours over a bottle of wine. We talked about the past, present and future. We talked about our desires and God’s faithfulness.
Just last night after a day of rest 2 more friends visited, one purchased 3 more of my books. I was so touched by the blessing of this unexpected ministry. To speak healing and hope to the brokenhearted is quite an honor when I myself have been so brokenhearted.
And I ended the evening with a last hurrah with the bestie from Florida. This woman whom I have known over 13 years. A woman who has loved me like a sister. I have been susceptible to the lies of the enemy regarding this friendship but am now healing and seeing truth. It is beautiful to see us coming into our own and manifesting true identity. Healthy boundaries and maturity go a long way. So does love… I know these blessings are a result of answered prayer. He is giving wholeness and abundant life. He is preparing me for the new season.