Tag Archive | seasons

Summer Reflection:2017

There have been a lot of changes for me this year.  I posted a collage of pictures from the summer with the title: “What a great summer!” My friend/old roommate commented, “Was it really a great summer?!” 😳 She reminded me that we moved out of our old home this summer and we submitted to the move, both resigned 😑 .  “Oh yea, I forgot about that,” I said, but went on to explain that I was only thinking about the highlights.
Contentment is a difficult thing to practice and I have had my bouts with it.  God has put me through certain spiritual obstacle courses to develop me in this area but it seems like my humanity continues to oppose that particular fruit of the Spirit.  It takes some real effort to focus on the positive when the negative is still present.  I think even though social media can be abused/misused it does allow for us to celebrate the positives and the highlights of life.  I can honestly say that even though I find this season very difficult with its changes (and with its lack of change), God has given me many desires of my heart.  


And even when I have thwarted his gifts and misused his presents He replaced them with more gifts.  More presents.  The love He demonstrates is a love I do not understand.  I simply can’t fathom His mercy and grace and love but I have glimpsed it so much in this season that I feel I’m gaining some knowledge.

This weekend I’ll get to promote the books He gave me.  Writings that show how He used very difficult times and made purpose out of them.  I’ll also get to visit with some dear sisters who I have been on this journey with for 15 years now.  I’ll have more opportunities to experience His love and goodness in the form of community and social events.  These are things I have desired but did not know that He would so frequently lavish them upon me.


Even in the midst of heartbreak, pain, and suffering, there is His hand.  Leading me and guiding me and ordering steps that have been difficult to take.  My own testimony shows His faithfulness and how when we are weak, truly He is strong.

Happy Rosh Hashanah!

SHALOM

 

 

 

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Summer

Each morning I wake up to sunlight cascading into my bedroom window. Birds are singing songs of praise and everything is light and airy.  Summer came swiftly and I found myself hurrying to catch up with the new season. I put away my sweaters and pulled out my sandals. Summer is here!  Only a few weeks before we had snow!  Such an odd occurence but a reminder to me that each day is new. I can’t remember a time when there was snow and then 80 degree weather in my city. God makes each day its own.

I scrubbed the house from top to bottom in preperation for a special visitor. All the windows are up and the back door is left open. I spend most mornings having quiet time on the porch. My Bible and journal wait in expectation. 

  

 
It’s so much easier to feel joy when there is sun. It’s so freeing to not have on layers. But would I really appreciate this season if not for the cold? 

I’ve grown to love Fall. I’ve grown to love layers. But I don’t know if Summer will ever be a bore.  It is always a welcome refreshment from the times of hybernation.

Enjoying this new season…   

   
SHALOM

Level Two

What is interesting about this journey is how God works in patterns in our lives.  I feel like He has been so intentional to teach me in patterns.  Usually the patterns pertain to my career, living arrangements and relationships.  There have been seasons of intense pruning followed by seasons of overwhelming blessings.  But then something happened with the pattern.  It stopped.  I fully expected it to continue like it had for the last 13 years.  I fully expected the “promotion” or “blessing.  But instead, there was more humility.  More waiting.  More pruning.  I didn’t understand the hold up.  Why wasn’t the blessing coming?  Didn’t I pass the test?

At the end of last year I stood in victory having learned the lessons He was teaching once again.  I felt unstoppable.  I saw the pattern and felt like this faith walk was “cake”.  What I soon learned and what He showed me was that I had “mastered” level 1 of my journey with Him.  Now we are on level 2.

Level 2 threatened to take me out.  I wasn’t used to this level.  I wasn’t used to not having His presence or doubting His existence or feeling so utterly alone.  I wasn’t familiar with this lesson.  I had to stand on His manifest presence of the past. I had to stand on His faithfulness in my past.   I had to stand on the love of the current community that surrounded me.

I am still standing.

Each day has been a challenge to walk forward, but each day I choose to do so.  Even though I don’t feel His grace or strength, the fact that I am still standing is evidence that it is there.

I’m getting more revelation and understanding now of level 2.  I kept trying to use my old weapons of warfare at this level but they were not working.  I am having to learn to use new weapons and re-sharpen some of the old ones.  I’m also learning there are so many levels to wholeness. I have chosen to get to the highest level so that I will be most effective for this generation.  So that I may please my Father.

Even with its challenges level 2 offers so many blessings.  There are open doors at level 2.  There are new relationships, experiences and opportunities at level 2.  There is reaping at level 2.  I don’t have to try or strive, the open doors come to me.  All I have to do is BE.

Psalm 46:10.

He is faithful to complete the work He started in each of us.  And it will be His love, kindness, patience and grace to sustain us as we climb His mountain.

He is there, even when we do not feel Him.  Bringing us to victory…

  
SHALOM

 

Walking Through The Fire

A long time ago there were three men who were so full of faith they risked their lives to prove it. Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego were thrown into a fiery furnace by King Nebuchadnezzar because they refused to bow down to his golden image. Even with the consequence of disobeying the King their belief that God could deliver them from the fiery furnace prevailed.  This type of faith is definitely impressive! But what is even more remarkable is their belief that even if they were not delivered, even if God allowed them to suffer at the hands of this man, they refused to forsake Him!  For months now I have sought the Lord to move on my behalf. I have asked Him to deliver and fight and heal. I have experienced His movement on my behalf so many times in these ways prior to this season. I did not understand why this deliverance was “taking so long” to manifest. It was during a moment of brokeness that instead of asking Him to deliver me I instead asked Him to walk with me through this season. Instantly I was reminded of the 3 Hebrew boys.

Sometimes the Lord will not remove our obstacles, even when they are very difficult. Sometimes He will not remove them because we as believer’s are not exempt from the trials of this life. Instead, He chooses to hold our hand and walk with us through the fire.

Years ago while I was in a similar transition season God gave me a word that I was going through the fire to be delivered of some baggage I had be carrying. I needed to be refined before my new season. God may not start the flame as was the case with the 3 Hebrew boys (Nebuchadnazzer took care of that) but He will certainly use it.

Sometimes God gets the glory from immediately delivering you from a situation so that you dont have to go through it. Other times He chooses to allow the situation and be with you in it, keeping you from being scarred by the flames.

In either case He is faithful to make you as pure as gold when your season of testing is over.

SHALOM

In Position for the New

At the beginning of the year I made a list of things I wanted to accomplish this year and you know what? I met many of those goals. The Father honored my heart and desire to keep moving forward in passion and purpose and faith. He gave me a personal word that He was going to do a new thing and He did. I’m hesitant to jump on board with well known ministers coming up with promises and words for the New Year. Sometimes we think that just because there is a change in the calender year there is a change in season. Sometimes the year changes but the season does not. So the only reason I believed at the beginning of this year He would do a new thing was not because someone said it but because His Spirit did. And He said it to me about 4 times in one week. Still, that new thing was not what we would think in terms of those long awaited promises but instead was in terms of much needed healing, growth and reconcialiation.

Maybe its because I’m not one to jump on board with the latest slogan or word from the pulpit regarding the upcoming year. I am more apt to get on my knees, quiet my spirit and yield my ear to heaven to hear the still small voice. Maybe it is for that reason I have ironically found myself in transition right around the time of a new calendar year, in position for a change in season.  And the word I am hearing is “open doors“. I am not quick to share this information. I have walked with Him for some time and have learned how easy it is to be deceived by my own heart and thinking. But maturity has its advantage and when you yield to His process you tend to hear and see better.

This has been a trying time of battling in my thought life. I have questioned what is true and I have faced great torment. Today I realized this is happening because I must manifest the greater level He is calling me to. And then His love came. And it removed the fear.

All of our circumstances and life experience and people in our lives are there to keep molding us and conforming us to His idea. They are working something in us to remove the false and unveil the true. The true is always there but it is hidden under the false. The love is there underneath the fear.

In this season I pray you yield to His process leaning not to your own understanding but in all your ways acknowleging Him. I agree that He who has begun a good work in you is faithful to complete it. And I pray that you are sensitive to His timing for your life. Be sensitive to His timing for your life.

These last few years He has been bulding something specific in me. He has been preparing me for healthy relationships. It has been a process and the thing about being in process is when you are in it, it looks confusing. It is still unformed and hasn’t taken shape yet. But I am taking shape and it is a sight to behold to my Maker.

Thank you all for your faithfulness to this blog and I wish you all the best in this upcoming year!

SHALOM