Check out my FIRST guest blog post with Single Roots! They are an AMAZING ministry and resource for Christian singles! In this post I discuss mental health issues and being a Christian. Often it’s taboo to discuss such topics but I believe freedom and healing come through transparency. Click to here read more…
I watched a periscope from my friend today where she shared about the unexpected outcome of some events in her life. She had been counting down to this point in the year and had an expectation of what it would look like when she got here. She was dissappointed, crushed even, with what she found. I can relate. I had such high hopes about this year. Such an optimistic, expectation of what lied ahead. But instead of promotions and financial blessings and the next level of glory I desired, I became engaged in a battle I did not want to fight.
I have faught many battles in my faith and have had victory over them all (He always causes us to triumph). But never have I ever felt I was fighting alone. Until this season.
This season revealed some deeply hidden things. It exposed a lot of lies and false mindsets and beliefs. It showed me that God’s mercy has been the reason I have had the strengths that I have. He showed me this by taking them away.
Life does not always turn out the way we plan or expect. When faced with this season there were many times I wondered if I would make it through the transition. Yes, I’ve seen His victory so many times but not with this particular situation. How could I receive deliverance if it has been an issue for this long?
Finally before my final breakthrough I came to a point of believing that “Though He slay me yet I will trust Him”. No I did not believe He was slaying me but I did believe it was in His power to help me and He was choosing not to for His own purposes.
God has done too much in my life for me to leave Him but I see now He is the One keeping us together. It is His love, His strength, His grace. Not mine.
Here are some really good moments that have happened lately…
A long time ago there were three men who were so full of faith they risked their lives to prove it. Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego were thrown into a fiery furnace by King Nebuchadnezzar because they refused to bow down to his golden image. Even with the consequence of disobeying the King their belief that God could deliver them from the fiery furnace prevailed. This type of faith is definitely impressive! But what is even more remarkable is their belief that even if they were not delivered, even if God allowed them to suffer at the hands of this man, they refused to forsake Him! For months now I have sought the Lord to move on my behalf. I have asked Him to deliver and fight and heal. I have experienced His movement on my behalf so many times in these ways prior to this season. I did not understand why this deliverance was “taking so long” to manifest. It was during a moment of brokeness that instead of asking Him to deliver me I instead asked Him to walk with me through this season. Instantly I was reminded of the 3 Hebrew boys.
Sometimes the Lord will not remove our obstacles, even when they are very difficult. Sometimes He will not remove them because we as believer’s are not exempt from the trials of this life. Instead, He chooses to hold our hand and walk with us through the fire.
Years ago while I was in a similar transition season God gave me a word that I was going through the fire to be delivered of some baggage I had be carrying. I needed to be refined before my new season. God may not start the flame as was the case with the 3 Hebrew boys (Nebuchadnazzer took care of that) but He will certainly use it.
Sometimes God gets the glory from immediately delivering you from a situation so that you dont have to go through it. Other times He chooses to allow the situation and be with you in it, keeping you from being scarred by the flames.
In either case He is faithful to make you as pure as gold when your season of testing is over.
When this new season started I thought I had this faith thing in the bag. I thought “I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve passed my share of tests. I’ve seen God’s faithfulness so many times. Too many times. But there is never a point of arrival. This season has backed me up against the wall. In mere days I have fought simply not to lose my mind and even my faith.
I’m still fighting.
The one thing that has kept me is remembering my testimony and His promises for my future. This present battle cannot be my end. But when will it end?
I was encouraged by Elijah’s story that even after such a great victory he lost courage. Yet God took His time wooing him back to faith. 40 days in fact.
One morning I woke up in the midst of the battle and Jesus reminded me of the man who was blind and the Lord brought back his sight in stages. At first the man saw men as trees which some believe were really angels. And then his natural sight was fully restored. Not to mention there was this unorthodox way God had of healing him, a concoction of saliva and dirt. The point is God moves however He wants to move and sometimes He moves in stages. Sometimes He doesn’t move in the way He did in the past. That can be difficult when I want things done overnight. I want healing overnight. Deliverance overnight. But sometimes it takes 40 days.
What I’m learning in this process is to just give Him one more day. Maybe today was a battle but maybe the next day won’t be. Maybe my deliverance is coming in stages.
This mindset is one of resilience. I didn’t have this understanding before this season. I didn’t need it because I had His presence and assurance and awareness of His love. I was very dependent on my feelings and awareness of God. But when feelings are gone what do you have? You are left with your testimony. You are left with all the ways He moved in the past in your life. You are left with His word that doesn’t change.
And that has been enough for me to just keep giving Him one more day.
In other news, here is a selfie from this morning😉:
Sometimes things happen and we don’t understand why they are happening. Sometimes we just want the bad things to go away and for everything to be good again. I wanted everything to be good again. But that is not this life. Sometimes, many times, we need to FIGHT. From day one of my faith journey I was awakened to the spiritual warfare we as believers are in at all times. Time went on and I was more “balanced” out in these experiences however my call did not change, the attacks themselves only became more covert.
These last 2 months have been so difficult because of a stronghold of fear in my mind. The definition of stronghold: a place where a particular belief is strongly upheld. Even though I loved Jesus I had a lot of false beliefs about Him. I was carrying a lot of fear in our relationship. No matter how I tried I could not shake this fear. All of a sudden my back was against the wall and I was forced to fight or else I would lose my mind.
Christ is a deliverer. He restores our minds. He heals mental illness. He removes the strongholds. Let Him deliver you this day from false ways, false thinking and false beliefs.