Tag Archive | resilience

Lessons From A Cat

Yesterday my roommate left for Africa.  It has been a long awaited dream that is now being fulfilled and I bless God for that.  She has been preparing Ben-Samuel all week long for her departure as best she could.  With limited understanding between species who knows how much he actually understood when she told him frequently she would be leaving for a while.  Though I care about Ben he is really her cat and so she does all the heavy duty stuff for him.  When he was sick she took him to the vet.  She changes his litter, buys all his food and is his primary caregiver.  He has also gotten into the habit of sleeping in her room most nights.  For that very reason I have been a little concerned about his response to her departure.

When we got Ben it was clear he was suffering from abandonment and really enjoyed people. He was so excited to be in our home that he made sure he was apart of every conversation and even made it a point to sit at the kitchen table to join us for meals!  I have never seen such a cat.  When we are lounging around the house he easily climbs on our laps and even computers just to snuggle.  But lately I have noticed he has gotten even more attached to my roommate and thus I wondered how would he respond to her absence?

I can’t help but see a parallel of this season with God and Ben’s relationship to my roommate.  She made sure to spend extra time with him, love on him and even tell him that she would be gone for a little while, but if Ben is anything like me, those things would fail in comparison to the seemingly never ending absence.  You see, I can look back on this prior year and see how God was preparing me for the season of “silence”.  I can see how much He was overwhelming me with feelings of His love.  I felt it everywhere and wondered at people who did not.  I can see how He was revealing Himself to me and who I am to Him in my heart and mind, flooding me in every waking moment of this revelation.  I can see now it was all preparation for the darkness to come.

I tell myself cats are like kids and are resilient.  I tell myself Ben will be ok and though he doesn’t know it, her leave is only for a short while.  I must also believe these things about myself.  I am learning resilience these days.  I’m learning to be secure in a love I most days no longer “feel”.  I’m learning to trust the Word over my emotions and I’m learning that though I may still desire a sign a sign has already been given.  Many signs in fact.

Right now as I type this post Ben is sleeping on my leg.  He has joined me for an early morning snuggle after trying to eat my cereal.  For some reason he likes people food…

And in that picture I am shown the need to adapt.  And the need to seek out other ways to have our needs met.  And I am grateful for this picture which I’m sure is given from the Father of all creation.

family-picture

SHALOM

Give God One More Day

When this new season started I thought I had this faith thing in the bag. I thought “I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve passed my share of tests. I’ve seen God’s faithfulness so many times. Too many times. But there is never a point of arrival. This season has backed me up against the wall. In mere days I have fought simply not to lose my mind and even my faith. 

I’m still fighting. 

The one thing that has kept me is remembering my testimony and His promises for my future. This present battle cannot be my end. But when will it end?

I was encouraged by Elijah’s story that even after such a great victory he lost courage. Yet God took His time wooing him back to faith. 40 days in fact.

One morning I woke up in the midst of the battle and Jesus reminded me of the man who was blind and the Lord brought back his sight in stages. At first the man saw men as trees which some believe were really angels. And then his natural sight was fully restored. Not to mention there was this unorthodox way God had of healing him, a concoction of saliva and dirt. The point is God moves however He wants to move and sometimes He moves in stages. Sometimes He doesn’t move in the way He did in the past. That can be difficult when I want things done overnight. I want healing overnight. Deliverance overnight. But sometimes it takes 40 days. 

Or longer.

What I’m learning in this process is to just give Him one more day. Maybe today was a battle but maybe the next day won’t  be. Maybe my deliverance is coming in stages.

This mindset is one of resilience. I didn’t have this understanding before this season. I didn’t need it because I had His presence and assurance and awareness of His love. I was very dependent on my feelings and awareness of God. But when feelings are gone what do you have? You are left with your testimony. You are left with all the ways He moved in the past in your life. You are left with His word that doesn’t change. 

And that has been enough for me to just keep giving Him one more day.

In other news, here is a selfie from this morning😉:

  
  
SHALOM