This weekend I lie in the Lord’s arms. I cried out to Him and shared my turmoil. From the depths of my soul I cried out. And I heard His response. He wants me to trust Him.
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters
he refreshes my soul.
He revealed the roots of the idolatry that has been accompanying me for so long. Indeed He had given me this revelation years ago, but I tucked it away in my heart for maybe such a time as this.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
The root of fear was an obvious one. It is the reason the Israelites built the calf, because Moses was taking too long coming down the mountain and they were afraid he would never return. Their fear and impatience led them into idolatry…
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Now the root of Pride, that was a sneaky one. Pride is usually harder to see in one’s own heart, and so it took my spiritual father to call it out. And once he did, I could see. My own pride, the same as Eve, caused me to believe that I could make a better choice than God. Caused me to believe, that I was wiser than He.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
And so, laying in His arms, with these revelations, and with the voice of His Holy Spirit speaking clearly, I told Him “I trust You Lord”. And I repeated Psalm 23, over and over and over again.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
From a godly sister, I was reminded that this was the day of Purim. This was the day that the Jews fasted in preparation for their battle for deliverance under Esther. Sadly Christianity has lost touch of its Hebraic roots. We have strayed from Jewish traditions and have been ignorant of the Lord’s ways in giving them those traditions. His feasts and instructions to them were revelation of who He is. They were a shadow of things to come. It is wisdom to know His instructions to the Jews so that we may now know the times and seasons of today (The Lord Was, Is and Is to come). In knowing the time and seasons we will know what to do.
Thankfully I am under leadership that understands this and has taught me accordingly. And so, my deliverance from idolatry, my fast, and my similarities to Esther in this season, they are all very timely. Even walking through this test, is all very timely. And I cannot possibly imagine what Christ will use it all for. I can only know that He has brought me to this point for such a time as this.