After a decade of walking with Him, I’ve seen all sorts of things. Heard of all types of devastations. Experienced all types of setbacks and disappointing circumstances. But I can honestly say I have never wavered in my faith. Have never doubted that “there was a God”.
For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead.
And I’m thankful for that. I’m thankful that He met me even in my mother’s womb, chose me to be His, and engraved His name on my heart even when I was unaware.
No, my struggle in my faith has not stemmed from doubt that He is, but more of “Can I trust Him”? Yes I know He is there but will He be there for me? Can I trust Him with the very things I hold dearest to my heart and know that His choice will be the best outcome for me? I can identify with Eve, who doubted that the Father had given her his best. She suspected that He was indeed holding out on her and so she took matters into her own hands and went after what she thought she was missing. Sadly, she already had the very thing she was seeking. She was already like God.
She was already magnificent.
And so I find myself in a similar predicament. Battling to trust. Fearful of the outcome. Fearful of His choice. Thankfully He has helped me to take that first step to trust Him. He has helped me to commit to seeking His face and discovering the pages of my life story written on the eternal path of His heart. The eternal. Already done and yet waiting to be manifested in each day that I walk with Him. The purpose of this life is the unfolding of His love and grace for me, always teaching me His goodness towards me.
Taking steps to trust God involves remembering His goodness. Remembering He really does have the best for us. He is not a man that He should lie. He is FOR us. And if He is for us, then who could possibly be against us? We are His and He loves to give good gifts to His children.
We are His and He loves to love us.
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?
1 Corinthians 2:9
But as it is written:
“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.