Tag Archive | spiritual family

A Rocky Christmas

It is Christmas morning. I’m sitting on a comfy couch near a cozy fire drinking a cup of coffee. The tree is small but welcoming and although there are only two presents under it they are wrapped in love. I’m visiting with a woman who goes back to my childhood. She’s the only one I was able to bring with me from that time and for that I hold on to her fiercely. She is mine. And she, like me, did not want to face the holidays alone, so we are facing them together.

I have to admit this life the Father has painted is full of marvelous things. Like yesterday when we drove up the Rocky Mountains and let them take our breath away. Their voluminous size were terrifyingly exhilarating. At once I was reminded at how great the Father is and yet at the same time, so intimate.

It is a wonder.

We laughed and drank and skated and cooked. We did what people talk about doing with their families. Visiting historic landmarks, taking car trips to the mountains, basking in being a family…

Our sisterhood is something I will always be grateful for. This woman walked me down the aisle not on the happiest day of my life but on a day when I needed to do what was most difficult. She stayed two weeks longer when everyone left to make sure I would be ok for my birthday. She has been my rock when I couldn’t see Him anymore…

I could still see Him through her.

And of course she is not the only one. But I want to honor her in this moment in time because she is worthy of being honored. I don’t know what my plans would be if she had not extended her love. If she had not extended her time…

As I get older I hear about others who spend the holidays alone. I have yet to have that experience but I finally realize it is not something I am exempt from. Life is never what we think it will be.

But for now I see the Father’s provision. My dear friend came over and took Christmas pictures of me in my new home, stayed over for hours of fellowship and then came back the next day to drop me off at the airport. I had been visiting with her family previously and was the recipient of more fellowship, more community, more love.

I have known their family for quite some time. They have seen me transform into the woman I am today. They too were there that day I walked down the aisle. They have been there every step of the way.

As life moves along and friends date, get married and have babies, I deal with the weight of my circumstances. I have none of those things. And that is the “rocky” part. The pain, the loss, the trauma…

But this is what I do have…I have snow tubing near the Rocky Mountains Christmas Day. I have waking up to a fire, a cup of coffee and a dear friend who loves me unconditionally. I have a woman who is lavishing a mother’s love upon me in a way that is desperately needed. A new home that came when I least expected and is perfectly tailored for me. Women who have been on this journey with me for more then a decade and even though their life circumstances have changed, they include me in them. They invite me into their family traditions for the holidays. We play spades and bake cookies and enjoy each other. I have provision and style and love. The love is not in the form I thought it would be in. It does not negate the grief and trauma I am still recovering from. It does not fulfill the deep longings of my heart I experience every day and have experienced since that faithful day I submitted to Him at age 19. Giving up the man I wanted to marry at age 22. But it does give me HOPE.

Everyday I wake up, I look at the home He provided and I have hope. He does give us the desires of our hearts. He does manifest His eternal promises in the natural. He does want us to have good things in this life.

He does give His children good gifts…

And that is the reminder of this season. The true meaning of Christmas. A celebration of God sending Yeshua to offer hope for the world. I am always in aww that somehow He chose me to be His. I know I couldn’t have “earned” that right by any great efforts of my own. Believe me I tried. But still somehow I got adopted. I got engrafted into His family. For that I am eternally grateful.

He is my ABBA and I know out of all the gifts He has given me, I am most grateful for that one.

To be His daughter. To be His Love.

To be His.

Merry Christmas from The Rockys☺️☺️☺️.

SHALOM

Beautiful People

This weekend I had the opportunity to fellowship with a group of people from all over the country. I am apart of a spiritual class that focuses on living out eternity on earth. There aren’t too many people my age in the class. Most are seasoned saints in their 50s and 60s. Sometimes I let that bother me more than it should and I miss out on what God has for me in this group. I’m glad I didn’t this time. I fully intended on cutting my trip short though I was open to the idea of staying if the Lord wanted me to. He must have wanted me too, because I stayed.

The first day I was there I shared with the group what was on my heart and it was well received. I thought “I guess I am apart of the group”. Having that thought made me realize I must have felt un-apart. The 2nd day, again, my place in the group was affirmed.

I have struggled to laugh in this season yet I couldn’t help but laugh with joy spending time with a sister last night. A mother of 4 and a widow, she has several years on me. But God has used her to demonstrate wholeness to me. And He used her to make me smile.

It is easy to go through this life alone. I’m an only child so being alone is a default for me. Living alone and being single with no children is a daily experience.  Most days I dont mind it (I even enjoy it) but this weekend I was reminded that we need fellowship. Sometimes we need someone with us at Walmart walking around for an hour and being silly. We need someone to tell us to stay when we say we are going to go but we really want to stay. We need conversation and laughter and love.

People I had never met gave me compliments this weekend and affirmed me. My friend even got the 411 on another single guy at the meeting :-). I was touched by her in depth study of him LOL.

Sometimes its hard not having my own family but I know the Father is intentional in giving me His. 

 SHALOM