I was walking with a friend outside. It was midday summer; perfect and sunny. We had just come from lunch where we had the benefit of eating outside. The venue allowed dogs because we happened to be in a “dog city” so folks were happily bringing their dogs to this particular restaurant. My friend is becoming a dog lover so this setting afforded her the opportunity to “ooh” and “aww” over the cute k-9’s strolling with their owners who passed by our table.
As we walked, we took in the scenery. It’s a gentrified area and those have their own pluses and minuses. Pluses because they get “redone” with the money that’s flowing into the city. Minuses because the previous residents get kicked out when they can no longer afford the new amenities being added.
As we walked, my friend even stopped to smell some beautiful flowers at a flower shop and I took note. We had been talking about contentment and enjoying the moment. I knew God was working in her.
“Do you feel peace?” she had asked me at some point. We had already been together for over an hour and were catching up on each others lives. I had told her about the ups and downs in my romantic life as well as this season of recovery.
I thought about her question. “Peace?” I asked as I mulled that one over in my head for a sec. Did I feel peace? I asked myself. I struggled with that. Because in all honesty I did not feel peace. I did not feel ok with this journey of surrender and submission. I did not feel ok with grief and loss and trauma. I did not feel ok.
What I eventually told my friend was the truth. I did not feel peace. But I could not disregard my past journey of God showing His faithfulness. That when He had me do hard things in the past, it was actually for my good. So I said something to the effect of, “No, I do not feel peace. But He must see something that I don’t. I also understand that I am an eternal being and this life is fleeting. I understand the importance of living for the eternal even when in the natural I am not rewarded.”
And that mindset is a mindset that I have carried. To do what is eternal over what is natural. But as I am growing and evolving, the Father is expanding my mindset. He is showing me the “both, and”. That there is a dual dynamic with His ways.
I will be teaching a workshop soon on bookkeeping. I started my business this time last year and though it hasn’t grown as fast as I had wanted, there is growth. In the class I will be debunking accounting myths. I realize many small business owners confuse bookkeeping and accounting and I want to shed light on this topic to help them become more successful. I realize that is what God is doing with me.
He is debunking my myths.
I believe there are lies we all believe and depending on your journey, your family history, your DNA, your “wiring” so to speak, you may have more false beliefs than others. Or may have those false beliefs in certain areas of life. For me, I have struggled with trusting God and others. And I have had limitations on that trust.
I did not realize that the reason I did not have peace when my friend asked me that day was because I did not believe wholeheartedly that He was for me. I did not believe that ‘He would withhold no good thing from me.’ I believed that I was missing out on something good. In some far off way I did believe He had something better, but at this point in my journey, I would take the good. I thought that was a reasonable request after all I had experienced. Little did I know, it may have been good for someone. But it would not be good for me…
Now I see His ways are for us, even when they are hard. Even when they are long. Even when they are not the “ideal” of what we think our life should be, or what other people’s lives are. He knows us intimately and He knows what is best for each us. That realization has given me peace.
I now have peace.
I am so grateful He has given me peace and He has exposed the lie. I have not felt this trust in so long, it is a wonder to me that it is here so freely. We are all wired uniquely and He leads us on the path that will bring out our transformation of our true eternal selves to be manifest in the earth. He takes the good and the bad and somehow uses it all for His end purpose. It is truly amazing.
I pray the Father reveals to you your false beliefs, and keeps leading you along His path of righteousness.
After the storm…