Tag Archive | career transition

Turning Points

I had a bittersweet conversation with a friend today. Bitter because her boyfriend is dying from cancer. Sweet b/c God is in the midst.

cross

I have known this woman for some time and she has been instrumental in my career. God has used her as an advocate for me and used her to keep doors open for me. In return He has used me to minister the gospel to her, over nearly a 10-year period.

She came to faith quietly, in the day-to-day grind and sometimes hours of monotony; in her own way. Not in the over the top, zealous way I experienced as a teenager in college, but as a woman who had been through a lot, walked through a lot, and learned she had a Savior she could lean on. When her companion was diagnosed, I knew she would get to know that Savior in more ways than she ever had before. What better way to know the Man of Sorrows than when He holds your hand as you yourself walk through sorrow?

She was a mentor before she was a friend, but eventually our 20-year difference morphed into a relationship that lacked description, though once she told me I was like the daughter she never had. That daughter only lived a few hours and died prematurely. I’m honored she would compare me to her.

She called to tell me the job I’ve been waiting for, the job I felt was promised to me, called her for a reference. “I think you got it”, she said. Revelation flooded me. My mind found its way back to 10 years ago, when another door in my career threatened to shut; when God’s promises were being opposed by forces of darkness. Back then He used her to keep that door open and 2 months later I received what was mine.

Again, the door has been open, waiting for me…

“Those who wait on the Lord shall not be ashamed”.

“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint”.

May God receive all the glory from my life.

And from yours.

SHALOM

The Art of Waiting

I have an interview today. It is the one I’ve been wanting for 3 months now. 3 very long months. When talking about it with a friend she mentioned how waiting is God’s way with me and how much better this time of waiting has went compared to the last time in my career (which took place some 9 years ago).  But even in my excitement at this potential movement in my career I sobered up when realizing the wait may be a little longer than I expected. There are a couple of components to the interview. Multiple individuals are involved and therefore multiple people’s schedules are involved. As a result there may be a longer time frame then I would prefer for closure with this particular opportunity (in all honesty it has already been longer than I preferred). I of course am not putting all of my eggs in one basket. I am keeping an open mind to other opportunities but it’s a little difficult when you feel there is divine intervention involved. When you feel the Lord has given you a word, a promise, and then circumstances cause you to wait for that promise.

My history with Christ has been that way. 9 years ago He gave me a word but then told me to wait on the fruition of that word. It took 5 months but it came to pass.

Lately as I scroll through my FB timeline there are baby pictures everywhere. If not pics then news of pregnancies. It seems amplified lately and I’m not sure why. Normally this type of thing doesn’t bother me but maybe its because of my own transition in this season and waiting for some things to be birthed in my own life, I’m feeling bothered. And maybe it’s because I’m quickly approaching my 33rd b day, I’m waiting once again in my career, still waiting in the area of relationships, and realizing how very little control I have in this life.

The one thing that is clear to me is, I am learning the art of waiting in order to learn the art of living eternal. I simply cannot live for this life. I simply cannot hold on to anything temporary.

I have been emptied out. There has been much fruit from this emptying out and there is much fruit to come but the harvest does not negate the pain from the sacrifice. The longevity of the path of surrender can be overwhelming at times but that is when the supernatural manifests. When you simply cannot do it in and of yourself He does it through you.

Christ in us, the hope of glory.

SHALOM

Sumbission & Control

Have you ever tried to control God? Not like blatantly tell Him what to do because you know that would be silly but instead you plan and plot and secretly put time limits on Him when it comes to occurrences of your life. So really its like you are trying to control your life but since He is the Author of your life it’s really Him you are trying to control.

And even though I’m  saying “you” I actually am speaking to myself here.

I heard a preacher recently say we have faith as long as we can see how God will move. We all have an expiration date to our faith. I agree with that statement. I had so much faith and thought my faith was limitless. Now I know it is the faith of the Son that is limitless. My own faith runs out eventually when the waiting gets too long. When I realize that God is not moving in my time frame or opening doors in my fashion or even opening the doors that I want opened. No matter how many times I pass these tests I seem to default to this false way of thinking and functioning.

I default to control.

In this transition period it took me a while to realize that the open door I was waiting for was already open. It took me a while to see the work He put before me is the assignment to focus on and once again I needed to Be Present. I needed to live in the NOW. I needed to adjust my expectations, stop putting limits on Him, stop trying to control Him, and humble myself. When I asked Him why I always seem to be in this predicament of being tested through waiting and humility His response was that He is chastising me.

He chastises those He loves.

My good friend told me “God is trying to catch up our character with out gifts!” I think she is right. I see now this is a lifelong process. I am once again submitting to the process.

And relinquishing control.

SHALOM

Walking Out, Taking Thoughts Captive

Ever have a time in life you feel lost?  You struggle with your identity?  Highlights of life and Jesus seem like distant memories and yet were only months ago?  I could not relate to people who did not feel His presence or experience a continuous expression of His reality.  I could not be there for my friend when she reacted to the perceived darkness and cried out for help in the only way she knew how; coldness and rejection and anger.  I could not relate b/c I did not know the darkness.  I have since experienced the darkness.

Now I know how to respond.

I know to respond in love and support and grace.  That is how my friends are responding to me in this season.  They are continuously there and once again, I am learning love through them.  Even when I can’t connect with Him I have their faces before me reminding me He is there b/c they are there.

He gave me them.

   
   
I walked out yesterday.  My emotions were high along with my insecurities and I walked out.  I had never done anything like that before.  I had never quit anything in my life but I was ready to change all that.  I was wounded from the past and the journey and I was overwhelmed with the constant stretching and testing and so I left.  But then I came back because God gave grace to do that.  And I apologized, because He gave grace for that too.

When I can’t connect and I don’t feel His presence and it feels like I’m lost, I remember the words He spoke over my life.  I remember His promises and His plans that have yet to come to past.  I remember that HE is eternal and the fact that HE sees the end from the beginning means the words He spoke over me must come to pass because He saw what has not yet manifested.  That means He is not done with me.  And that truth comforts me.

I was listening to a sermon today about taking captive your thoughts and meditating on what is true.  The preacher said to hold on to one thought that is true.  To just hold on.

My thought is “He is not done with me yet.  He will complete the work He started”.

That word is for you too.

SHALOM

 

3 Months In

It will be 3 months this week since I got “the news”.  I found myself today thinking about my dwindling time period of locking something in so that I don’t have a gap in pay.  I found myself driving to Panera so that I could use the internet and apply for more jobs. I’m sitting at Panera now.  Right by the fire with a cup of Hazel Nut coffee and Taylor Swift in my ear buds.  But after about 2 applications I gave in to what my heart really wanted to do: I started writing.

In my writing I verbalized what the Spirit of the Lord was stirring in my heart: I don’t need to look for a job, it will come to me.

It will come to me the way it always has in my career.  The door will open by a supernatural hand the way it has always opened.  The real work isn’t in getting my degrees or work experience or applying (though I have done all those things).  The real work is my obedience.  I wrestled with my frustration with this path of waiting.

“Why can’t I just have a smooth transition Jesus?!” I thought.  “Why can’t I just be BLESSED?”.  But I am blessed, that’s the thing.  The truth is I was wrestling with the desire to be blessed the WAY I wanted to be blessed.

I was wrestling with control.

While writing I understood that the Father has me on this path because He is teaching me to walk by the spirit.  He does not want me to get comfortable in this life.  He does not want me to go about a natural way of functioning like others do.  It is because of my calling to break the strongholds and release this generation from darkness.  But first I myself must walk out of the darkness.

Yesterday I had the honor of speaking on my book.  I stood at the podium in front of 30+ woman sharing on my story and how God met me and how I overcame.  I encouraged them that they too can overcome.  I did not “feel” the words I said.  I did not “feel” Him in the way I have so many times, but I spoke those words by faith.  I knew that they were true and I’m learning to not let my feelings lead me.

So even though I’m “waiting” for an open door, there are other open doors that I am walking through.  Doors that were not on my radar.

But they were on His.

 To check out my speech click here.

SHALOM!

Transitioning

Only a few months ago I was in the thick of the routine.  I had found a way to carve out interest in the mundane and apparently that was my ticket to change.  Often I felt like Joseph, sitting in that jail cell, weighed down by circumstances.  Now it feels like the chief butler has told Pharaoh about Joseph but Joseph doesn’t know it yet.  There is a word sent forth for his change in season, but the next assignment has not been given just yet.  There is still a process Joseph is going through.  He is still walking by faith.  He actually must prophesy and use his gifts to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams.  There is a role he plays in his own deliverance.  Faith without works is dead.

I sit here now at a desk with a computer awaiting clients.  No longer am I at my cubicle of 8 years but I’m at a desk I’ve only known for a week.  Well, we did get slightly acquainted last tax season but it was brief and part time so we didn’t have the luxury of getting too familiar with one another.  Now I am opening the store after only one week of training; leadership always seems to find me.

But I’m still in transition.

The King has sent forth a word concerning me, but I must prophesy about my future.  I must agree with the Word.  I am warring for that word to be manifested.

In the mean time, as I wait for the assignment, there are other assignments.  There are speaking engagements, and selling books, and preparing taxes.  There are times of worship and times of building my faith and letting God develop me in those weakness that I didn’t know were there.  That’s the thing about the routine, sometimes we get comfortable and we think just because its been that way for SO long, and we have been that way for so long, it will stay.  We will stay.  But we are always evolving.  We are always changing into the idea Elohim thought up before the world began.

It’s been a rough week.  The war.  The battle.  But I have chosen to live and not die.  And His Spirit has delivered me once again from the hand of the enemy.

SHALOM

 

One Month In

This week will be one month since the lay off. It has flown by. My how I have grown! 8 years ago when I faced unemployment I was ready to cash out my savings from fear that God would not provide and everyday that eeked by felt like eternity. I was so stressed I lost my hair and felt like God had abandoned me. Now my hair has been its own source of joy.
  When I first graduated college I was so worried about my lack of experience. I did not have the internships lined up like my peers or the savvy business connects. I felt like a fish out of water. All I had was a very expensive college degree and a call from God. Turns out that was all I needed. Actually, I didn’t even need the degree-He was enough. So now 10 years later I marvel at His hand. I marvel at His provision and how He is transforming me and writing a story I never knew I wanted written. He is now even using me to write other people’s stories. I tried so hard to box myself in. I felt boxed in that cube for 3 years and thought it would be the death of me. But I learned joy. I chose to make the best of that cube and that was what He was waiting for. So often we think we are waiting on Him. I bet you He’s waiting on you even more!

I met with my career coach and let her fine tune my resume, my cover letter and my Linked In profile. My business cards for both my professional endeavors as well as my book are on their way. It all looks so amazing and yet it doesn’t even cover all of the other professional experiences I am getting with writing in this season. Whatever God has for me is going to be phenomenal.

10 years ago I couldn’t see my future. I couldn’t see where I was going. I had a totally different view of how my life would look and who would be in it. I thought I knew myself. I had no clue I would keep changing. That much of what made me “me” back then was actually not me at all. It was brokenness, wounds, pain, and lies believed since childhood. There is still brokenness, and there is still pain, and lies, but He has made it His mission to keep making me better.

The pruning is worth it. It’s hard, but so worth it.

I finally see now that the path God creates for each of us is to bring out our best. He does not allow us to stay immature and selfish and needy. He keeps us walking by faith so that we are being developed into His image. This image for me has been long luscious locks of natural hair, a 25lb weight loss, clean eating life style, improved fashion style and a radiant dark chocolate skin tone. And that doesn’t even cover my improved character!

I thought I needed a man to make me worthy. I thought I needed a relationship to have value and be beautiful. Actually it was a relationship I needed to make me amazing. But it was a relationship with Christ.

If you are on Periscope please check out my guest spot on TriF.Y.R.E’s “Transparent Tuesdays”! I will be weighing in on the topic of “Christian Singles Being Sexy”.


SHALOM!