Tag Archive | humility

7 More Days

“Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant, And as a root out of dry ground. He has no form or comeliness; And when we see Him, There is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭53:1-3‬ ‭NKJV

I am reminded of this passage as I count down the days. 7 more til I am released. I am comforted to know that they also did not see my Savior for who He was. He was a Healer and yet they called him a demon. He was kind and they returned his kindness with persecution. If He is our Master how can we expect to be treated any differently?

I am comforted but my heart still hearts. To have poured out so much, given so much, and to still be passed by…but His response through me is to honor. Honor like David honored Saul. The very man who loved him and had taken him in, eventually sought to end his life.

If God is for us who can be against us?

I believe God uses trials to shape us into His image. I believe we can grow and be Him in the earth.

Still, my heart is tender. I must move slowly in my demonstration of His character. 7 more days and I will once again be in a transition. This time I have no expectation.

Just one day at a time.

He will open a door in His timing. And it will be purposeful. It may not be the reward everyone keeps hoping for me, but it will be purposeful just the same.

His grace is sufficient.


Sumbission & Control

Have you ever tried to control God? Not like blatantly tell Him what to do because you know that would be silly but instead you plan and plot and secretly put time limits on Him when it comes to occurrences of your life. So really its like you are trying to control your life but since He is the Author of your life it’s really Him you are trying to control.

And even though I’m  saying “you” I actually am speaking to myself here.

I heard a preacher recently say we have faith as long as we can see how God will move. We all have an expiration date to our faith. I agree with that statement. I had so much faith and thought my faith was limitless. Now I know it is the faith of the Son that is limitless. My own faith runs out eventually when the waiting gets too long. When I realize that God is not moving in my time frame or opening doors in my fashion or even opening the doors that I want opened. No matter how many times I pass these tests I seem to default to this false way of thinking and functioning.

I default to control.

In this transition period it took me a while to realize that the open door I was waiting for was already open. It took me a while to see the work He put before me is the assignment to focus on and once again I needed to Be Present. I needed to live in the NOW. I needed to adjust my expectations, stop putting limits on Him, stop trying to control Him, and humble myself. When I asked Him why I always seem to be in this predicament of being tested through waiting and humility His response was that He is chastising me.

He chastises those He loves.

My good friend told me “God is trying to catch up our character with out gifts!” I think she is right. I see now this is a lifelong process. I am once again submitting to the process.

And relinquishing control.


Insights on Self Reliance

The other day while checking out at the grocery store the cashier checked my i.d and noticed my b day. He said “Ah, so an Aries. That means you are strong-willed and independent”. And while I’m not an advocate for horoscopes I could not deny the accuracy of that information. “Yes, well, that’s what my mom says” I offered with a smile. But mentally I was already dissecting those descriptors. Strong-willed, in other words, prideful and stubborn. Independent, easily meaning being self-reliant. Self-reliance was a huge issue on my heart yesterday. I kept feeling Holy Spirit highlight this tendency in me as being a hindrance to His plan for my life.  
While on 1 of 3 planes heading home from Haiti I sat next to a Haitian man. He and I dabbled in a conversation mixed with broken English, French and Creole. I would say his understanding of English far surpassed mine of Creole and French, though he would disagree. He asked me about myself and was so shocked to find that I was a single, working woman living on my own. No family. No children. Just me. I can’t even imagine how shocking that is to someone living in a culture where a random family member can move in with you with no end in sight simply b/c they have no means of providing for themselves. But God so ordained this season just for that. Me living on my own. Me doing my own thing. And I know several of my sisters doing the same thing.

A friend once told me that our strengths can also serve as our weaknesses. I think that is true. My ability to be independent, take care of myself, be firm in my convictions, beliefs and even lead others can hinder the need to surrender to the Father’s will when it differs from my own.

Yesterday I heard a really good sermon about Jacob wrestling with God. The minister said that the reason God did not prevail against Jacob (Gen 32:25) was b/c the fight was actually against Jacob’s will. God will not override our will. We must relinquish it. It was a really good word about Jacob relying on his ability to manipulate and deceive others. There were promises over his life but when it looked like they were not going to come to pass he took matters into his own hands and relied on his ability to deceive. He was self-reliant. His way of deception was actually a misuse of his gift of influence and leadership. Lucky for him he chose to be changed, though he had to fight for that change. Change is never easy, especially when you are learning a new way of functioning.

There are promises over my life which are tied to my gifts. But these gifts are being purified and sanctified in the journey so that they will not also be weaknesses. Humility is a sanctifier. Waiting and stillness bring forth humility.  

I am reminded of a word I received years ago. Deut 9: 4-5 

Do not think in your heart, after the Lord your God has cast them out before you, saying ‘Because of my righteousness the Lord has brought me in to possess this land’; but it is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is driving them out from before you. It is not because of your righteousness of your heart that you go in to possess their land, but because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord your God drives them out from before you, and that He may fulfill the word which the Lord swore to your fathers…”

I am reminded that it is not my righteousness that will cause me to complete His call. His call will be fulfilled in me b/c of His great plan for humanity. And His faithfulness in fulfilling His word over me. 

On another note, Happy first day of Fall!!! Here is a pic I took this morning in celebration of this new season 😉.  

 Also if you would like to check out the sermon I referenced earlier click here.