Ever have a time in life you feel lost? You struggle with your identity? Highlights of life and Jesus seem like distant memories and yet were only months ago? I could not relate to people who did not feel His presence or experience a continuous expression of His reality. I could not be there for my friend when she reacted to the perceived darkness and cried out for help in the only way she knew how; coldness and rejection and anger. I could not relate b/c I did not know the darkness. I have since experienced the darkness.
Now I know how to respond.
I know to respond in love and support and grace. That is how my friends are responding to me in this season. They are continuously there and once again, I am learning love through them. Even when I can’t connect with Him I have their faces before me reminding me He is there b/c they are there.
He gave me them.
I walked out yesterday. My emotions were high along with my insecurities and I walked out. I had never done anything like that before. I had never quit anything in my life but I was ready to change all that. I was wounded from the past and the journey and I was overwhelmed with the constant stretching and testing and so I left. But then I came back because God gave grace to do that. And I apologized, because He gave grace for that too.
When I can’t connect and I don’t feel His presence and it feels like I’m lost, I remember the words He spoke over my life. I remember His promises and His plans that have yet to come to past. I remember that HE is eternal and the fact that HE sees the end from the beginning means the words He spoke over me must come to pass because He saw what has not yet manifested. That means He is not done with me. And that truth comforts me.
I was listening to a sermon today about taking captive your thoughts and meditating on what is true. The preacher said to hold on to one thought that is true. To just hold on.
My thought is “He is not done with me yet. He will complete the work He started”.
That word is for you too.