Yesterday I made the move. And it was right after I spent the holiday out of town with dear friends.
I had packed everything ahead of time because I didn’t want to be stressed the night before trying to get things together (after my flight got in). I am a great planner and I knew planning was going to be key to getting ready for the new season. Still, there are some things you simply cannot plan for…
The night before the move, my good friend picked me up from the airport and we enjoyed our fleeting moments together. She will be entering her own new season soon which also involves moving so I am savoring all of my time with her. She agreed to spend the night and we started the next day at 7 am. I needed to pick up the U-haul truck and make it to my house by 9am. We were making good time and decided to stop for coffee and breakfast. Little did we know we were going to need the sustenance! I had a few other friends coming to help but I was relying on the movers I had hired to be the real muscle. In the past my mom and I always hired movers. We did this because we did not have family, or men, to help. We were always doing things on our own and independence was ingrained in me at a young age. I had friends who had large families and men in their families that would help them relocate. I always envied that about them…
Well about 30 minutes after my friends and I started moving I realized the movers I had hired were MIA. I called them and was initially told they had the wrong time down (even though they were the ones who had chosen the time). Then I was told they were stuck in traffic (which I knew was a bold face lie because we had been out and there was no one traveling the day after Black Friday). So I cancelled the movers and my friends picked up the slack. They were amazing. For 2 and a half hours we created assembly lines, passed boxes to and fro and took trips back and forth between houses. We even stuffed ourselves in the front of a U-Haul truck due to lack of space! (Shout out to Lo for being a real G) LOL. And the crazy part about it all is, WE HAD FUN. We laughed and sang to the music and talked. It was a great time of fellowship and comraderie and I knew it was the Father. He was giving me people. He was giving me a longtime desire of my heart.
There have been several things that have happened in this moving process that has shown me His love and one of them is His use of people. There were some things I simply could not plan for and He has shown me He is the ultimate planner. People would pop up at just the right time. My neighbors who I needed to borrow plyers from. My pastor who’s time is already limited and yet has made it a point to fix anything at my house and breakdown the large items I need to get rid of. His sister who has been so much like a mom to me in this season has been present to look at houses and rejoice with me when I found the right one. My friends, who cleaned the house and helped me physically move. My realtor who took some appliances I needed to dispose of last minute (not to mention the one who actually found this house when I had given up). Even my personal trainer who was squeezed in front of the U-Haul who I’ve only known for 2 months. People, people, people. God has given me people.
God will fill up the lack. He will provide and meet the need however He so chooses. And this is how He has chosen in this season with me.
There were some hard times this week emotionally. The holidays usually are hard for me and now even more so. I am still working through my grief and disappointments. There are changes in my relationships due to the new seasons. There are changes in my relationship with God. But every morning I wake up in this new house and I feel His peace. I walk upstairs and my breath is taken away all of over again. This house is symbolic of hope for the future.
My friends and I are walking out a different path then those who are not chosen. We struggle with how different it is. We so want to be “normal”.
“Singleness is getting awkward,” she said. I laughed but I knew it was true. It has been awkward, I thought. I am a little older and so I knew that that played into my perception. It is also painful, I thought, but didn’t share. I didn’t want to project my pain onto her although, I have so appreciated that I have been able to be completely honest with her in my journey. I have so appreciated that while others transition into building families and focusing on their loved ones, I have people around me who are still in it. They are still walking out this path of waiting. It is comforting to have others who understand and empathize with the journey.
I am grateful for how the Father has moved in my life. He has been very intentional with what He has blessed me with and the opportunities He has given. He has also been intentional with what He has not allowed. Only He knows how we are wired. The intimate desires of our hearts and what will bring about His best in us.
I have changed a lot in this season. Life does that. While some may think it is not for the good, I disagree. I think we need to be balanced out in our perception of life. I think we need to understand the sufferings of humanity to understand the compassion of Christ. If we don’t go through dark times we will never be relatable. I have had to learn how to be relatable.
Thank You Father for how You have moved in my life. Thank You for showing Your Hand and making it known that I am Yours. Even when I feel alone. You are always there.