Tag Archive | relationship

Wednesday Reflection

This morning on the drive into work I was reminded by Holy Spirit how important relationship is to Him. He is all about it. That is difficult for me b/c I am all about the formula. Without me realizing it I fall into the formula. A + B = C. It gets tricky b/c the formula is a works-based approach to life. If I do this then I get this. If I do that than I get that. But that is not how God is. He is relationship. That means the goal is really to engage with Him in this life experience and out of that engaging we bear fruit. Often I drift away from the engaging and I start thinking the blessings are coming b/c of my works. Though I do believe in the principle of sowing and reaping, I know there is a fine line.  I love to accumulate knowledge. I love to learn. But with an increase in knowledge comes with it the danger of pride. On the contrary relationship heals and offers love. Love covers a multitude of sins. Over and over again. That is the beauty in relationship.

I am reminded that before the world began I was called. That means in spite of all of my weaknesses and issues He chose me. I did not choose Him. Pride leads me into thinking I chose Him. Pride leads me into believing that somehow I can earn my way into the calling He has on my life. Until I fall. And realize the burden must be on Him to complete that work He started in me. He gets glory in my weakness and makes it His strength.

There are so many blessings in my life in this season. This year He has done exceedingly, abundantly above all I could ask or think. He has given me the desires of my heart. He has kept me. He has made His heart known toward me on a daily basis. He has hedged me in. And even though I have a record of His faithfulness in my life to look back on, anxiety brings torment.

I trust Him that in this relationship He will bring victory over torment as He has done so many times in the past. Maybe it will take a while. Like so many other things have taken a while. But I’m sure it will come.

A formula cannot possibly be applicable to this life journey with Him when we are all so different. What works for one cannot work for another. No one else has my personality and life experience or world outlook. No one else relates to the Father in exactly the way I do. And no one else can speak into me or my calling accurately unless the Holy Spirit gives that person insight into me and His plans for me. Instead the Potter who is intimately acquainted with all of our ways tailor makes the journey to fit His intended end in each of us. If nothing else gives us security, that should.  

The Potter molding and shaping and teaching.  

The One who knows us best leading us.  

(Psalm 23) “He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides the still waters…”



Everything Has Changed

A friend of mine is walking through a really hard season right now. Her boyfriend is facing a terminal illness and she is his sole caregiver. She confided in me about how exhausted she was and how her body was growing weary from the daily grind of tending to him emotionally, mentally and physically. But she felt her own exhaustion failed greatly in comparison to his physical pain. How often do we do that? Compare our pain to someone else’s and belittle our own needs? I encouraged her to make sure she is taking care of herself in this season, otherwise how can she possibly be there to care for him? She nodded but was at a loss as to how that could possibly happen when it is just her and he is in need of so much. One thing she said in our conversation was that “life will never be the same with him again”. Regardless of the outcome of this diagnosis, their 15 year relationship will never be the same. It’s so odd to me how suddenly life can change things in that way. We can grow comfortable in our season because day in, day out, it is the same. And then something happens. And it is never the same again. It doesn’t matter if that something is good or bad, because we have grown accustomed to what was for so long, we will still need to transition to the new. We will still need to learn how to interact and function in this new.

I was spending time with a college friend last night. She and her hubby were in town and it had been years since we last connected. I was so blessed by their fellowship and their focus on me. They have a well-known ministry and I’m sure are used to so much of the focus being on them in their various settings and relationships. I could tell they were determined to make sure they did not consume our time together as they prayed over me and asked intentional questions about me. It confirmed so much to me that to the Lord I am a whole person. For so long I kept finding my identity in another person but now He is showing me, there is just Him. I said as much when the questions came about my love life. For some, relationships are a good thing, but for me, there is work that needs to be done.

I had flashbacks on the way to meeting my friends last night and I realized how much I had changed and grown in the various times we had met up. God has taken me from one place to the next in my awareness of my true self and in my character and emotional development. I’m grateful for His faithfulness. I was also encouraged to know that this very friend I was meeting was someone whom I had previously been distanced from, but God restored. In our immaturity we became divided, but God reconciled. I am reminded of other relationships He has done that with and I am encouraged that He could do it again. Even with relationships that had a very long season.

And then things happened.

And everything changed.

Life seems to be a process of brokenness, healing and recovery. I can see these patterns in my life and finally have understanding as to why they have occurred. It is like in the 2nd Hunger Games Movie when they realized the pattern and were then able to outsmart their enemy. I know that is why God has shown me the pattern. So I can be more effective in my warfare.

I also shared with my friends last night that periodically I check on my mom and ask her if she is ok with not having grandkids right now. We have done all the weddings and baby showers together and the only thing I could offer her friends was an invitation to my book signing earlier this year. But she has been so supportive and puts no pressure on me at all. I know that for her, being a single parent, I have already surpassed her dreams. Having an advanced degree and being a published author are pretty remarkable in her eyes. And I know, she just wants my next relationship to be healthy and healing for me.

I couldn’t agree more.