Unlearning How to “Push Through”

So, remember last week when I told you guys I have a foot injury? Initially I thought it was just a sprain, however, after weeks of icing, elevating and compressing, only for the pain to worsen, I finally buckled down and went to see a “foot” doctor. “Now, why did you not do that sooner, Nicole?” you may be wondering. Well friend, I’ll give you 2 words: health insurance. You see, when you’re a full time entrepreneur like myself, you may or may not have health insurance. And for me, I do not. So, I try very hard not to spend money on unnecessary medical expenses. Thankfully, I found a really good inexpensive foot doctor. She did the X-ray which showed that the sprain was actually a fracture and recommended I get a “boot”. Again, this woman was gracious and told me how her practice charges hundreds for this boot, but that I could get the exact one on Amazon for 50 bucks. Bless her soul.

So, now I’m in recovery and trying to take it one day at a time. But people, I could literally be in this thing for 6 weeks to 3 months. Jesus take the wheel. During the last post I shared about how my community has COME THRU tho with helping me, and that has still been the case. Just yesterday my friend took me to a book event and another friend dropped off groceries. Later on today, another one is scheduled to loan me a pair of crutches that her son owned from having the same injury. Clearly, God is providing. But, what I recognize in His provision, is how uncomfortable I have been with not being able to do things for myself. I know I mentioned before that asking for help was hard. But guess what? It’s a week later, and its still hard.

We had our Sunday fellowship call this morning and Holy Spirit seemed to be highlighting the need to “rest”. The thing is, I have things to do, Jesus. And not just things, but “God things”. Like book events, and pop ups, and networking events. So, resting seems a little inconvenient at the moment.

But, what I have learned from times past is that resting in one area of my life doesn’t mean I’m resting in another.

For instance, writing has been a focus in this season. I literally haven’t written creatively in months, and yet, I have started a new novel on top of completing an E-book just in the last two weeks. I remember my first book was written during down time at work and my 2nd book was written during a lay off. My last book was written during the pandemic. Both of them actually. What I recognize in my life is that I usually am very fruitful with my writing when my business career is slow.

This time around in my season of rest, however, I am not just dealing with a slowness in my business that affords me time to write, but I am dealing with an actual physical injury. Not to mention physical pain. It is probably the first time in my life that I was unable to care for myself physically, and have experienced such limited mobility. I can remember a couple of times in my youth having been on crutches, but once I was a kid and used to people doing stuff for me, and the other I was a college Freshman. I still didn’t have the level of independence at that time that I’ve accumulated since then, so, at this stage of my life, depending on others is extremely out of the norm.

But, sitting there on our fellowship call, I had to wonder. Could God want me to be more self aware of when I am functioning out of self reliance instead of relying on Him? Because, surely during this “rest” period I have not been able to rely on myself. I have needed His body to be my hands and feet. Literally.

In addition to the whole “Am I being too self-reliant?” revelation, I realize my need to “push through”. My friend actually made fun of me and laughed when I showed up at a meeting, hobbling on one foot and then needing to elevate my foot and ice it the whole time. Even a week after I injured myself, I took a 10-hour road trip both ways to South Carolina to visit with a friend where I did over half the driving with said injured foot pressing the gas peddle. SMH. But what was I supposed to do? We already had the trip planned!

At that time, I was also still doing a lot of my workouts, thinking that I was doing less than my normal, so I was good right? Wrong. If anything I was making matters worse by slapping on my ace bandage right before lifting my weights. In hindsight, I can see that my “just push through” mentality was surfacing, and so I did what came natural. But what comes “natural: isn’t always the healthiest decision. I’m learning…

I know that God did not put that huge buckeye there in the middle of the path I was running on when I went for a 2 mile run, causing me to roll my ankle and fracture it of course, but I also know that He uses all things and wants us to learn from all experiences.

Can you relate to being in a period of rest? Do you see patterns in your life where God has you stop one thing so that you can focus on another? Have you had to recover from a physical injury that “put you out of the game for a while? If so, what helped you through that time period?

In other news, did you know that I have a monthly newsletter? You can email me if you would like to receive it! I share all of my updates on events I am selling books at and the latest happenings in authorship! You can also view the latest newsletter on my linktree.

Are you on Instagram? If so, please reach out! I have started a series called “Word of the Day Wednesdays” where I share 5 minutes worth of nuggets that are on my heart which I hope are encouraging to others on IGTV Live! I have these also posted on my Youtube channel in addition to my Instagram Page.

Have you read “Stories for the Urban Soul” and are eager to dialogue about your favorite characters, lessons learned, and so much more? Well, now you can download 20 Dialogue questions available on my website to discuss with your friends! Just enter your email in the pop up box and its there!

If you have read “Stories for the (Urban) Soul please put up an Amazon review here! I was SUPER encouraged and blessed when a new reader put up her review for my 2nd book which you can view here :).

Did you know I have a FREE preview of my book? You can learn more by downloading here. Scroll all the way down and you will see the Kindle Version of the book depicted.

Currently upcoming events are on pause until I can heal, but will keep you posted! As always, thank you for your support!

SHALOM

By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog www.betterthanwine.net. Her books are published at nicoledmiller.com and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business (www.abnbookkeepingllc.com) when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s