Songs of Solomon 1:2
Of course, it was still going to be a while before I would see some real progress in my healing journey. My mind, at this point, felt like it was being eaten alive by rats and like they were gnawing at my brain. I so desperately wanted relief.
What tools are you using in fighting your experience with mental health? Do you have someone or people in your life to confide in with your battle?
All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the next move. All of a sudden, I became afraid to make the wrong move. I had these thoughts in my mind that said, “What if I am outside of God’s will if I apply to this job? What if I am outside of the will of God if I apply to that job? What if, what if, what if…”Have you been there? Do you struggle with excessive, compulsive thoughts that have no rhyme, reason or even logic to them?
This new project will be a greater revelation of the Father’s love and passion for us, His beloved, but it won’t be in the typical fashion that has been bound by the four walls of the church. Instead, it will be reaching out, with arms of love in these character’s day-to-day journeys
I have been blessed to have found an outlet for the current of life, in my friendships. These women have adopted me into their hearts and named me their sister. They say the word so effortlessly and fill it with a grace that smooths out my broken edges and difficult ways. They have been the very sponges to polish my jarring weaknesses. They have been God’s hands to uphold me in the midst of trauma, loss, heartbreak, and pain.
I reflected back on the last 20 years, which were far from horrible. I felt that most of my greatest experiences were actually happening now, in my 30s. I realized that, though life has been far from easy, the experiences and opportunities I’ve had are probably very unique from many outside of my community, and academic acquaintances.
I am sitting in my living room on an overstuffed cream chair with a cup of green tea and a book on grief. The crackle of the candle on the window sill is almost drowned out by the ocean wave sounds coming from my speaker. I can smell the scent of pumpkin roll coming from… Continue reading Thoughts of An Introvert
Hosea 2:21 “In that day I will respond,” declares the Lord— “I will respond to the skies, and they will respond to the earth; 22 and the earth will respond to the grain, the new wine and the olive oil, and they will respond to Jezreel. 23 I will plant her for myself in the… Continue reading His Answer
Today is my 36th birthday. When I look back on my life journey these 35 years (and 1 day) I have lots of thoughts and feelings. I am in awe of how the Father manifested Himself to me as a 19-year-old. Even though I believed since I was a child, it wasn’t until college that… Continue reading A Sunny Day
There are memories now. They catch me off guard when they make their way from subconscious to consciousness. From the recesses and dark crevices of my mind. From back then to now as if now were just minutes from then, instead of years. The memories consist of her and I, always alone. And though the… Continue reading I Wish That God Would (Just) Say Yes
10 months of bliss came to a sudden halt as a few turn of events made it clear I had to walk away. God is funny in that way, making His presence known so mightily even when He is speaking so quietly. I did the hard thing once again. But this was hard for so… Continue reading Tis Better to Have Loved and Lost
