Tag Archive | generational curses

Someone Has To Be First

Its easy to take for granted the open doors in your life or the privileges you’ve been given when you never once worked for them. When you never faced the opposing forces behind those doors trying to keep you out or the closed handed fist holding tightly to those privileges which have the ability to unlock your dreams. Every once in a while after using a public water fountain and seeing a Caucasian person use it after me I’ll think about how 50+ years ago that would have been unheard of.  But there are so many times I’ll use that water fountain and never think about the history behind that privilege. Never think about the blood, sweat and tears that spilled on the ground just so I could take a sip after my workout at the gym. We all forget at times because we didn’t have to go through it ourselves. 

Its easy to forget.

I went to see “Hidden Figures” this weekend with friends; some older, some younger, but all impacted just the same. I marveled that the story told the lives of REAL women who took such a stand in their gifts and identity that the following generations could not help but be affected by their bravery and sacrifices. I marveled that these women all looked like me.

Often I grow weary in this spiritual journey. There seems to be so much opposition in these same areas, over and over again. I’ll compare my story to others who seem to have it together and get frustrated that it is so much easier for them. Then I was reminded after comparing: “You are first”.  

I am the first to yield and surrender and submit in these areas whereas my counterparts had generations before them as models. What God used their parents and families to do for them He did directly for me. He literally became a Dad and what my family couldn’t model His Spirit set out to teach me. But even with the gift of His Spirit there is extra opposition. There are opposing forces–both internally and externally that do not want to see these generational curses broken. They do not want to see the pattern of sin reversed. They do not want to see wholeness and sonship and the power of the Almighty displayed in earth as it is in heaven.

Seeing those 3 women doing the impossible in their day was awe-inspiring. But what if they had not persevered? What if they had not pushed   through the barriers that threatened to keep them boxed in with labels of being lesser than? Possibly I would not be a published author, or have an MBA in Accounting, or marry an incredible man who loves God and is faithful to his family and loved ones (just wait, its coming). That’s how powerful our choices are. We affect  the people around us and generations to come.

So remember when the road gets rocky and you keep finding yourself facing closed doors or closed fists or high walls that seem too tall to get over…”Someone has to be first”. Its not that you can’t do it. Its just that because you’re first its going to take more effort and grit than the ones coming behind you. And thats ok because the  ones who came before you are still with you cheering you on. And even though at times you may feel you are–you are never really alone.

My grandmother and I at my college graduation…

In other news if you’re in the area don’t miss this!!!


The Webs We Weave

Have you ever done something you regret? Like really regret? But even though you regret it in time you do it again. And again. And again…

Romans‬ ‭7:15, 19‬ 
“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do…

For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice.”

The thing is I tend to enjoy the thing I’m not supposed to do. And not even just because it has that forbidden enticing appeal to it, but part of the appeal is that it actually plays off of my natural desires. My natural desires that are not being met that I’ve had to practice dying to for 11 years.

But anytime I give in, and allow myself to get a “fix” or feel good, or ease the pain, you know what happens? Hurt happens. And more pain happens. And it never ends up the way I want it to.

And years go by and the same thing happens and I wonder when the ending of this cycle will be? How much work needs to be done in my life to where I will not be faced with this issue? I realize I cannot in and of myself do this work. I cannot muster up enough strength.

It must be that I have to glory in my weakness. It must be that I have to admit my predispositions and insecurities. We all have them you know–insecurities. So maybe your struggle isn’t like mine, but maybe you struggle with something.

Maybe there is a web that keeps being weaved through reoccurring struggles that happen this side of life. One thing that is for sure, the web is too entangled for me to untangle all by myself. I have my sisters there helping me. I have my spiritual community. I have my family: those who are here and the ones who have gone to glory.

And O I have a Father who called me before I was in my mother’s womb. He promised me He would work it all out for my good. He promised to be my strength where I am weak. And He promised to complete the work He started. And Oh what a work…

A masterpiece in the place of a web.

Grace and forgiveness in the place of sin and selfishness.

Here is a link to a podcast on generational curses if you’re interested.

In other news, I found out recently my book is available in the local Library! Proof He is not done with me yet😉.