Tag Archive | perseverence

Gifts, Parties & Sacrifice

This weekend I celebrated the release of my 2nd book How To Overcome Heartbreak: Stories That Heal. It took me exactly 9 months to start this book project and publish it. That’s probably pretty quick for most but that was the gift God has offered me in this season.

I have the gift of TIME.

The most touching moment of the party was sitting in a small group discussing the topics that I now am so passionate about: healing from emotional pain, walking out extended singleness and preparing for a healthy relationship. In the midst of me sharing my testimony on these areas I said that God had made His promise clear to me, however He did not reveal that I would need to be transformed to receive that promise. After my sharing an older woman in the faith said she heard the word “transparent”. I needed to be more transparent to receive the person…I felt that meant I needed to be more humble.

Sharing such intimate parts of my story always humbles me and really it is only my desire to please the Father and help heal others that motivates me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Yeshua in the garden. That time was such a picture of His humility. He left glory and perfection to experience a darkness I can’t imagine.

And He did it for us.

Now as I walk out my own journey I relate to His suffering. Though mine could never compare to His I know it is meaningful because it is my whole heart that I have given Him. It is the very depths of me that I have offered.

I am surrounded by the faithful. I have sisters and brothers who understand the deep and the level of sacrifice He has called us to. That is another gift I have in this season:

I have community.

I can say this road is not easy.  There are many hard days and even hard seasons.  Just yesterday I shed tears on a call with a woman I’ve trusted for the last 15 years.  I shared about my deep desires and awaiting the fruit I felt I was called to.  But I guess that is the beauty in this life: in the midst of the tears there is love.  There are these people who God deeply values and who deeply value me who are rooting me on and listening quietly as I pour out my pain.

There is both loss and fullness on this path and often I feel them at the same time.

There is His hand weaving a story I never could have fathomed. 

And then there is me, imitating the Author of life and putting my hand to the keys of a computer to do the same.

Like Father, like daughter.

I hope He is pleased.




Someone Has To Be First

Its easy to take for granted the open doors in your life or the privileges you’ve been given when you never once worked for them. When you never faced the opposing forces behind those doors trying to keep you out or the closed handed fist holding tightly to those privileges which have the ability to unlock your dreams. Every once in a while after using a public water fountain and seeing a Caucasian person use it after me I’ll think about how 50+ years ago that would have been unheard of.  But there are so many times I’ll use that water fountain and never think about the history behind that privilege. Never think about the blood, sweat and tears that spilled on the ground just so I could take a sip after my workout at the gym. We all forget at times because we didn’t have to go through it ourselves. 

Its easy to forget.

I went to see “Hidden Figures” this weekend with friends; some older, some younger, but all impacted just the same. I marveled that the story told the lives of REAL women who took such a stand in their gifts and identity that the following generations could not help but be affected by their bravery and sacrifices. I marveled that these women all looked like me.

Often I grow weary in this spiritual journey. There seems to be so much opposition in these same areas, over and over again. I’ll compare my story to others who seem to have it together and get frustrated that it is so much easier for them. Then I was reminded after comparing: “You are first”.  

I am the first to yield and surrender and submit in these areas whereas my counterparts had generations before them as models. What God used their parents and families to do for them He did directly for me. He literally became a Dad and what my family couldn’t model His Spirit set out to teach me. But even with the gift of His Spirit there is extra opposition. There are opposing forces–both internally and externally that do not want to see these generational curses broken. They do not want to see the pattern of sin reversed. They do not want to see wholeness and sonship and the power of the Almighty displayed in earth as it is in heaven.

Seeing those 3 women doing the impossible in their day was awe-inspiring. But what if they had not persevered? What if they had not pushed   through the barriers that threatened to keep them boxed in with labels of being lesser than? Possibly I would not be a published author, or have an MBA in Accounting, or marry an incredible man who loves God and is faithful to his family and loved ones (just wait, its coming). That’s how powerful our choices are. We affect  the people around us and generations to come.

So remember when the road gets rocky and you keep finding yourself facing closed doors or closed fists or high walls that seem too tall to get over…”Someone has to be first”. Its not that you can’t do it. Its just that because you’re first its going to take more effort and grit than the ones coming behind you. And thats ok because the  ones who came before you are still with you cheering you on. And even though at times you may feel you are–you are never really alone.

My grandmother and I at my college graduation…

In other news if you’re in the area don’t miss this!!!