I was on the phone with a friend the other day and she shared about a conversation she had regarding her employment. One of the people she spoke with made a comment, “You should always work in a job you are passionate about”. This person worked in HR and probably believed she was giving wise counsel, but her comment only annoyed my friend. And that is because my friend is not passionate about her current work. She is called to it, but not passionate about it. I told my friend that I’m sure the person made the comment based on her own personal experience. Some people actually experience joy and passion for what they are doing in life. Some people have those seasons of joy and passion that may actually last a lifetime. I have had brief glimpses of those seasons, but generally have not been graced to rest for long. The stretching and testing is an overall theme of my career.
Years ago God gave me a dream showing me a poor work environment that I was called to. I was unemployed at the time which was hard for me and I was pretty desperate for a job. He gave me the dream to encourage me that He had something for me but that something would look very lowly in the natural. It would look crazy and I would look crazy for being there. Near the end of the dream, in the midst of all the craziness, I began to worship. I woke up worshipping and singing the same song I was singing in the dream. For a long time I thought that dream represented the employer I would work for in that season. Now I wonder if it really represents the overall theme for my calling in my career. I’ve faced the same stretching and testing these 7 years later and often find myself at the end of my rope.
I sent out a text to my community, sharing the secret I kept trying to hide even from myself,
“I hate my job. Please pray for me”.
They responded with encouragement and empathy. I then received an unexpected phone call which further encouraged me and reminded me that God is really El Roi. He sees me. I’ve experienced the longsuffering in this area and know that often He will not open a door to release me but will provide more grace for me to continue along my current path. He is doing something in me in this way and though I don’t have the full picture, I know from experience it will be His strength to shine where I am weak.
He gave me a song that ministered to my soul and reminded me of who I am in Him: Dancer. So often I forget to dance. I forget to worship. I move along in this life living off of the prayers of the past or worship of the past. But my worship is my weapon. That is what He was showing me in my dream. That amidst the craziness and the stuff that hurts and just doesn’t make sense or isn’t fair, I can worship. I am a worshipper. And He moves when I worship.
If you are interested here is the song I am worshipping to. I hope you are encouraged on your journey of being a worshipper: “Oceans”.