“So are you seeing anyone?”, she asks as we sit across from one another in her marvolously decorated dining room and finish up supper. When I walked in I was instantly impressed and a little taken aback by the amazing interior design work that graced each space. She then let on that she herself was an interior designer (amongst many things) and her home was her own expression of that gift.
“No I’m not. And actually God has been doing such a work in me these 2 years in that very area”, I respond. I proceed to tell her about my last relationship. All the red flags I ignored and how I was willing to settle (hell bent on settling actually because that was where I was at). I talked about God’s lack of peace, Him calling me to a fast that helped me let it go and the immense revelation He flooded me with. Never before had I received such revelation. She interjected here and there with her own insights from her own story. An older woman in the faith, a mother of 3, she had been once divorced and now re-married. “You should always have peace when it’s God”, she said, and I agreed.
She knew me when. When I was dealing with my first heartbreak. When I was a 22 year old mess, lacking identity and purpose and value. She is a witness to the work He has done.
And she smiles at that work.
I spent a good while sharing my story. The same story I will share in my upcoming book (which I hope to be released this fall). I surprise myself at the details I’m giving as I had no idea we would spend so much time talking about me. I wanted to hear about her–after all, she was the one married! And we did talk about her, but there is power in my own story. There is glory He gets when I share on His Word being manifested in my life. So I shared.
And I keep sharing. The very next day I’m asked the same question (although worded slightly different) by a very unassuming individual. He is someone I’ve only spoken to occassionally and would have no obligation to explain my love life to. But I explain it because it gave me opportunity to share the gospel. I simply cannot explain my single status without explaining the story of Christ–they are intertwined. There is no natural reason why I am single. It is simply God’s clear intention for me to be matched with a certain individual of whom I have yet to meet.
I talked to my associate for 2 hours and we were both surprised at the depth of the conversation. It is rare that one goes deep with an associate. I guess we are no longer associates…
I can think of 2 other occassions within the last week where I have been asked about my singleness. And each time the response emanating from my lips is laced with wisdom and eternal truth. It is the truth of the Holy Spirit. It is wisdom one only gets from walking with Elohim.
Proverbs 9:10 NKJV
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
When we walk with the Source of life He leads us on the path of life. That path is tailor made for us and compliments our gifts, talents, purpose and calling. We have freedom of choice, but when we choose Him, we benefit by becoming who He originally designed us to be.
I can see now singleness looks good on me. Not because of singleness per se, but because it represents wholeness. It represents an alotted time for me to heal and learn my true identity.
I am still learning. But I can say that now when I’m asked the question, I don’t dread the answer so much. Especially when it gives God glory.
I’m getting comfortable in my own skin and singleness has helped me to do that.
Some highlights from this season…