I was heading to the bathroom in a fancy restaurant that I was having brunch with my friends at. I don’t normally do fancy restaurants but since my friend was visiting from out of town I understood the importance of enjoying our brunch on the patio with mimosas. Only fancy restaurants offer such accomidations. At least, in my city…Then he says what I think he’s thinking but I’m still shocked at his boldness. “You are so beautiful.” I turn in the direction of the voice and match it to a young, black man standing behind the register dressed in chef’s attire. I offer a small smile, a little embarrassed, and mumble “Thank you” before continuing my journey to the ladies’ room. But as soon as I turn my back to him I’m beaming. Though I felt his attraction to me when I had walked by him earlier I hadn’t fathomed he would think I was “So beautiful”. Cute maybe, but beautiful was a few steps up from cute. At least 3 steps…So I pass him on my way back and know he is talking about me to the waitress who doesn’t seem to be too happy he is attracted to another female. She had given me attitude earlier around the same time I felt his attraction. I didn’t sweat it. That’s her issue.
Throughout brunch I am meditating on his compliment and reflecting on the way black men consistently and respectfully compliment me in this season. I have had men stop their cars just to affirm me. They do not ask me for my number, they do not say anything inappropriate. They just want to let me know I have something going on that they appreciate.
Coming from a backround where there were no strong, black men to affirm or protect me, I grew up missing some things and as you can imagine I looked for those things in all the wrong places. I have had plenty of negative experiences with men from my race which have done some damage and so I see God undoing that damage with these positive experiences.
There is a great breakdown in relationships between black men and women which go back as far as slavery days. Black men were not allowed to even protect their wives from rape and violence when they were slaves and I believe that did a great deal to their psyche, but we won’t go there in this post. I have dated outside of my race and even felt for a long time I would marry out of my race, and maybe I still will. But I can see how God has created me to attract the black man. The way He has shaped my figure, tweaked my style and brought out my natural locks.
I sat across from my friend, another affirming black male. A good man, with a good heart and a strong faith. We enjoyed our meal and company and the soul music that was unexpectedly playing in this middle eastern restaurant. He was a gentlemen and honored me and that blessed me so much. I was once again being healed in places I didn’t even know were hurting. God was anwering my prayer.
In a time where society is painting such an ugly picture of young black men and ending their lives prematurely, I see God using them. I see His hope for them. His heart is near them and I believe for their true identity to be made manifest.
I just want to say thank you black man for your appreciation of my beauty and your respect in showing it.