Higher Ground

We met at a local restaurant that I hadn’t been to in a while. I had been putting off the meeting simply b/c our last meeting left me burdened. But God was going to surprise me and reiterate that this connection was indeed a very important assignment from Him. I remember early on in our relationship He told me that this woman and I had very similar “issues”. Back then I had very little self-awareness but took Him at His word. I couldn’t have guessed how accurate that word was and just how many issues we had in common. I took a chance and ordered roast beef and fries. I haven’t had beef in a while and decided that b/c we were heading into the weekend I would indulge. Also the fall weather always makes heavier foods more appealing. We dug right into the meat of things (pun intended) and started catching one another up on our love lives. Or lack thereof. We talked about the exes, how crazy they all were and how crazy we were to want to be with them. Why is it that we chose the same type of men over and over again? Finally I had an answer. I let her in on a secret I had recently learned. Most people will choose a person with both negative and positive traits of their parents. They will do this more than likely to get the needs met that they did not get met in their childhood. If only I had understood that truth 5, 10, 15 years ago. My friend reflected on that information and shared about her daughter choosing the same unhealthy relationship she had experienced in her own marriage. “Of course, because that is what is familiar to her” I shared with my newfound wisdom. We consumed our meal and dished more on all we were learning in the area of mental and emotional health. I was so blessed by the meeting, I couldn’t help but think of my initial apprehensions about it and how they were clearly not from the Lord. God was confirming my call. He was reiterating that He was going to use all of my failures in relationships. Just as He used me to share on my heartbreak He would use me to share with others about getting healthier.Before we parted ways my friend, 20 years my senior, commented about how awesome it was that I was learning this stuff so “young”. I briefly thought about it and responded “I know its b/c of my family. They knew they wanted me to have better opportunities. They knew they did not want me to repeat their same mistakes. Even if they didn’t have the verbiage to say, ‘I want her to be healthier emotionally or have healthier relationships’. They knew how to pray for better. This is my better”. 


Often the path feels fierce. It feels like I’m climbing uphill, alone, struggling to take the next shaky step forward in my fight for healing and recovery. But there are times I remember, I’m not alone. My ancestors take these steps with me. And b/c of them, I get to experience life even more abundantly.



3 thoughts on “Higher Ground

  1. I agree that our past can help to make or break us depending on how we get the information or how it may have been given by others, and how we perceive what they said or didn’t say to our understand but as we grow and reach that journey of looking deeper especially after these people may have moved on in life with their creator, we begin to do some self-checking on what we did or didn’t do to get our desired situations which is an on-going process in each step/stage of our lives if we really want to grow in a positive manner with ourselves. I remember growing up with being the best that you can be for yourself because my Mother and other wise women knew what they had been through but was not really sharing the ins and outs of their own life and at some point I realized that there were situations in my childhood etc. that I would not want to be part of my future and because of these situations, I left many unhealthy relationships so that cycle would not continue in my life and the life of my children. And I believe I am the better for it even if I had ended up being by myself. Today, people have so many more choices in life that was not part of my history so true relationships have changed based on locations, jobs, careers, schoolings, geographies, diversities of people. In my day, you married people you knew from grade/high schools, you knew most of your neighbors, you all went to most of the same churches, even many people worked at the same companies ( factories) and choices were limited but today, it is a much bigger world with many more opportunties to express yourself ( good or bad) many more choices and even more chances to make a fool of yourself not giving much regard to families, friends, or mutual respect to others, no communication system in place, no history of where you may have come from, pride, and wanting to make a positive difference including yourself. There is nothing wrong with getting outside help ( many resources available now to talk to someone outside of your circle to get answers or food for thought to help oneself to be better and above all, I believe most people have heard about a man named Jesus whose Father is God of us all and we can begin with Him and end with Him with all of the other stuff to be worked on. Life is an everyday process when we wake up each new day that we have not seen before!!!


  2. What’s interesting about this post is it’s relevancy to my own life right now. It’s almost exactly parallel to what God’s been showing me, I too have a woman who I’ve just had this almost exact convo with who’s 20yrs my elder. I think that satan doesn’t want us to share out testimony, because of the HOPE and the FREEDOM that it brings to the victim of despair. satan wants the believer to hide in shame, hide in condemnation, hide in fear- though we have made it through the trial, he doesn’t want us to share our victory, do he feeds us lies like “nobody will believe you”, ” you deserved that horrible thing that happened to you”, ” if people know this about you they will see what a failure you are”. All these on top of many more lies have been used to keep me from sharing my testimony- Mostly, shame though. How could a woman who has served Christ so closely have such a failed marriage, such a horrible abuse happen to her? Dealing with the shame of my marriage and the actions of my husband have left me bruised and shattered. But healing has come from Christ and through Christ I’m seeing the POWER of my testimony, that many woman ate crying out to be healed, many woman are crying out to God to be set free. I’m currently reading “Healed and Set Free” by Tammy Brown and “Keep Your Love On” by Danny Silk, both of these books have taught me so much and everything that I’ve learned I also credit to God and my family who are constantly praying over me. Keep up the sharing of your testimony, this is the way God brings healing to the broken and Hope to the hopeless.

    Liked by 1 person

    • WOW!!! That’s so awesome! I have heard of “Keep Your Love On” but haven’t read it YET! Im so blessed the Lord is healing and restoring us in this journey! Im so blessed to have understanding of unhealthy patterns and ways! He does want us to walk in wholeness and learn His ways! Blessings to you in your journey of healing and recovery!!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s