There once was a girl who, even while in her mother’s womb knew pain. While her mother carried her, there was a certain family member that did not approve of this pregnancy, and she made it a point to let the mother know it. She often made the mother cry and regret her decision to have this baby. The father truly loved this child but he was a very passive man and allowed the family member to make the mother cry. And so once the baby was born the mother and father did not remain together. Instead, the father married someone else, whom he had already began a family with. For years it was just the mother and the child, doing life together. The mother worked very hard to provide for this girl, but she was not able to meet the child’s emotional needs because of her own enormous pain. As the child grew, she experienced more rejection from her peers and did not have true friends to call her own. This aided in the abandonment and rejection she had already encountered in her earlier years. Sadly the mother and daughter became enemies over the course of the girl’s life and the girl tried to find love and acceptance in men. The girl never did find fulfillment, although her search did lead to more heartbreak. Her world was shattered when the one she loved cheated on her. His betrayal sent the message of rejection which became further embedded in her heart. During this time her peers talked about her and made fun of her, just like they had when she was younger. She was rejected yet again. But in the midst of this rejection, there was Someone beckoning to her. Someone calling her. Someone who wanted her. He whispered her name and told her that she ravished His heart. She couldn’t believe her ears. Someone wanted her? Someone loved her? Someone accepted her? And she fell head over heels for Him, because she had never known a love like this before. She fell so hard she could not contain His love to herself. She eagerly shared this good news with all who would listen, that there was Someone who would love you no matter what. And her new Love began restoring her in so many great ways. He gave her true friends who loved her unconditionally and helped her to grow. He started a process of reconciliation with both her and her mother and father. He began healing her from the deep pain she had known from the womb.
I wish I could say this story ended in a “happily ever after” way. But the truth is, daily I must choose to believe that I am accepted and loved. Daily I must choose to believe that God’s love is enough, even if I am rejected by others. Even if my mother and father forget me, He will never forget me. His love is unconditional. Even when I love others conditionally, He loves me unconditionally.
Sometimes restoration is a process. When dealing with people and pain there are layers and layers to peel back. But God is so tender with us, He only reveals the layers at the right time and gives us the grace to peer in.
There are consequences to sin. There are consequences to being out of God’s will and leaning unto your own understanding. I have experienced consequences as a result of the generations before me leaning unto their own understanding. But because God saw fit to intervene in my bloodline and do something new with me, I know that my decision to trust Him and choose His way, will end the dysfunction for future generations. It will give them a healthy foundation for life.
And so I choose to keep moving forward, even when it hurts. Even when I feel alone. Because pain is temporary, but His will lasts forever.