We are starting off our new series “Encouragement from Marrieds to Singles” with Mrs. Candra Evans! I have been so honored to have connected with Candra and so inspired by her faith and perseverence. There are not many I can say I look up to on this spiritual path however she definitely made the cut! Her tenacity and humility count her as one who has “Pressed toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”. Please show her some love in the comments below and by visiting her blog (see bio). Thanks!
Me: How long were you single?
Candra: I always say eighteen years considering that I wanted love and marriage since I graduated high school. I presumed that meeting my future husband would happen in college and we would be married and pursuing our careers together soon after. God blessed me to marry at the sweet age of 36.
Me: When you think back on your time of singleness what is one word you would use to describe that time and why?
Candra: Uncertainty – As the years came and went, I found myself unsure of an answered prayer. I was unsure if marriage was part of God’s plan for my life. I was unsure of how I would face the world as a single woman of a certain age. Many times I felt insecure in my faith and my worth as a woman.
Me: What were some of the hard times of your singleness? What were some of the great times?
Candra: Some of the most difficult times was being filled with the hope of love, only to find that yet again, it was not meant to be. There were online dating disappointments and the holiday embarrassments of telling relatives that you don’t have a special someone. I recall not feeling so bad about it, until taking in the stunned gazes.
Glory be to God that when I allowed it, great times came in abundance. It took being firm about being positive. That wasn’t easy, but because my heart was open to it, God strengthened me by the power of His Spirit. In military like fashion I forged a bond with the Holy Ghost. I declared that I would live and declare the glory of God. In this season I found my purpose, I had fun with friends, and I took every opportunity to try something new. I discovered so much about myself and before I knew it, I was thriving.
Me: Why do you think God incorporated a longer season of singleness in your story than some of your peers?
Candra: Good question. In my uncertainty phase I asked myself this often. Was it something I did? Did I disobey God somehow? Then I gained a better understanding of grace and realized that I could never be “good enough”. There have been many benefits of getting married at this age. I am wiser. My life in Christ has direction. I have a greater appreciation for my marriage. Most of all, I am able to help others in their longer season of singleness.
Still, I always come back to this bottom line. My resolve is that my life is not my own. I entrusted my life to God and through my pain God has been glorified many times over. Whatever happens God allows for my best interest. It was better for me to marry at 36. Now that I have my desire, I can affirm that God got it right. He did this thing better than I ever could have on my own.
Me: What advice would you give to those who are waiting on God’s best and desire not to settle in their relationship choice?
Candra: Be true to yourself and your convictions. Do not make decisions that will complicate your life and your future.
There are a large number of those who mourn because they gave years of their lives to the wrong person. They settled for what they knew in their heart was not true. They said it was better than being alone. They said that they could make it work. Now they grieve. And if not careful, allow that grief to push them into another compromised relationship.
Maintain your blessed place in God’s will and in His Kingdom. There is no place better.
There really isn’t.
Candra Evans is a minister, blogger and creator of Abundantly You for Christian Singles. She began blogging about her own Christian single journey in 2009. After many years of waiting, God blessed her to marry Pastor Ron Evans, Jr. in 2011. They currently minister and live in Cincinnati, Ohio.