I thought I would share some thoughts on the front lines of this thing called life. A challenge that I’m continually faced with is learning patience. I have been in graduate school for the past three years studying the art of counseling. It has seemed like an eternity although those around me have said the time has flown. As this season closes and a new one begins, I’ve found myself STRUGGLING. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a planner and I am comfortable with familiar people and routines.
I know I’m a counselor, but I do not like change! And please don’t add change with a waiting period. And please, please don’t say that there will be change, a waiting period and say things will be ambiguous. This is a recipe for me to lose my mind!!! Currently I have been tested with all three things. Oh the horror! As I get closer to my new season, I have been so anxious the past few weeks, and the enemy in the form of doubt had entered the building. I wondered would I really be able to offer the future kids I will work with, the counselor they need? Many of my new clients have been through so much. What do I say? They need a “real” counselor, not lil ol’ me! Will the kids like me? There are so many new people to get to know and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I almost cried at the fear that was rising in my body.
There was a new counseling job that I could only claim was mine by faith. There were indications that one of my internship sites wanted to hire me, but I never could get a firm “you’re in”. The demands to complete the requirements for my degree and internship took most of my time. I prayed to the Lord to provide for my needs and to help me walk out the next step in my calling. I knew that I wanted to work with kids and to be in the school system. I knew the Lord would have to line things up for me because I didn’t have the energy to do it myself. I also knew I had to confront my fears because faith and worry are not compatible! And yet, by God’s grace I go.
I have endured; I am enduring.
So I went on the attack. As Joyce Meyer said, it’s time to “doubt that doubt”. Although I was born to plan (you are talking to the queen of checklists and spreadsheets), I reminded myself the beauty of the journey. I embraced the way God made me –a girl with vision, and let Him lead the way. I don’t say this at 100% confidence in myself, but in full confidence that if I speak it, God will show me my path. After all, the Lord has already brought me a mighty long way.
My goal is to enjoy the milestones and not just focus on the destination (the license, the degree). I have decided to buy myself a membership to the Enjoy the Arts program (fine arts activities) upon completion of taking my counseling exam and presenting my internship project. It’s something for me to look forward to in the waiting period. It also signifies me reclaiming my social life! It’s something that celebrates the commitment that the Lord made to me to bring me through this process.
What is something that you are waiting for? How do you honor God on your journey? What rewards do you give yourself as you are working towards a goal? What helps you to not get frustrated, when you haven’t reached your destination? What’s something you can do in the next two weeks to celebrate something small?
Thanks for sharing the journey with me!
Hope was blessed with the right door opening only a couple of weeks after writing this post and now works as a Conselor in Cincinnati, Ohio with a case load of about 35 kids :-). She is a godmother, aunt, great aunt, sister, friend and daughter. She recently graduated with a master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She continually feels the presences of God in nature, music, films and serving and loving His people. Esperanza loves to laugh, travel, eat good food and learn about other cultures.
