So my friend had this idea for us (me, her and our other friends in common) to share our “weaknesses/imperfections” and how those things are a part of us, and hopefully how they can be viewed as “good”. And I decided to post mine on this here blog, because, well…why not? :-). Plus, I think self-awareness is an indication of growth and maturity. So this is what I emailed her…
1. I really dislike when others choose the stall right next to me in a public bathroom. I mean I get it if there are no other stalls available except for the one next to me, but seriously if there are other stalls, please choose one! I feel it invades my “personal space” even though really we (the stranger who chose to sit on the toilet next to me and I) have a wall separating us while we do our business…
2. I really dislike hearing others do their business while we are in the public bathrooms. I understand if you simply cannot control your external sounds that you make while doing your business but maybe its b/c that rarely happens to me that I just cannot relate to this phenomenon. If possible please do not release the sounds. It is so embarrassing.
3. Ok, so I have a lot of public bathroom issues. I don’t like when others use the restroom after I have done #2. I mean, I understand that “everyone poops”. I believe there is a popular book out for 2 year olds written on this very topic, but still I freak out when I know someone is entering in after me and I just did it (#2 that is). But I try to tell myself “It’s no big deal Nicole. Everyone does it. You don’t freak out when you go in after someone has done it. You are mature enough to know that “everybody poops”. But no matter how many times I go through this dialogue in my head, it never fails…
4. Ok, last bathroom saga. So I don’t wash my hands as long as I should. And I really didn’t notice this until recently when a certain coworker always took her time washing her hands. And then the sign in the bathroom said you should wash them long enough to sing “happy b day”… 2x. But I barely get through the first round when I’m done washing my hands. And it’s not like I’m trying to be disgusting or anything. It’s just that I do EVERYTHING efficiently! Which brings me to #5…
5. I am super efficient. For the longest time I thought this was a GOOD thing! Especially at work. But alas, it has its downfall. Because I value efficiency too much I can lose the quality of the work I’m doing. I have come across so many mistakes in my work due to me moving too fast. Sadly, I never seem to be able to slow myself down (I am even typing this email super fast). I will say I was forced to move more slowly with the last accounting job responsibility I had at work. I think as God gives me more accounting opportunities like these it will force me to take my time. After all, you can’t afford to jack up someone’s books 🙂
6. I am super conscious of TIME. Again, this is good and bad. This quality helps me to arrive at most places on time, finish projects on time, etc…however when it comes to WAITING on Jesus…I suck, LOL. Because God is not limited by time. He does not function within time. And so, having a linear perspective which is earthly and temporary and not eternal, will always cause me to be frustrated with the TIME God takes to accomplish certain things I’m desiring.
7. I am too critical. I have this perfectionist thing going on that I am just now realizing is again, a BAD thing. And it causes me to be judgmental and critical of others and myself. Good thing is I am growing in awareness and learning what GRACE really is. I’m learning there really is no PERFECT this side of heaven and we are all a hot mess. Grace and Love have embraced me in this season :-).
8. I’m not friendly enough. Well, I’m friendly to my FRIENDS but not to outsiders. This has been very evident to me recently as God is pointing this out daily in my work environment. I realize it stems from my childhood, from being isolated and ostracized by my peers. This occurred again during my college years. Those experiences caused me to turn “inward” and I struggle with being uncomfortable or afraid when engaging with others outside of my “friend zone”.
9. Too selfish. I think we all have a degree of selfishness due to the fall of mankind. However being raised an only child definitely aids in that degree. Everything is about “you”. You don’t have to share and if you do its only during specific time frames like during school. All of the attention in the home is on you. So, selfishness is a huge issue. Lucky for me Jesus has been having me die to self these last 12 years. And I suspect He will continue this process throughout the course of my walk with Him.
10. I worry way too much. I never really thought of myself as a “worrier” but I see that my thoughts go round and round and round in my head about the same topic daily. For years. I think this is due to my super serious nature and type A-ness. Which BTW #’s 5, 6, and 7 are tied in to this type-A ness. I so wish I could be that laid back free spirit that some of my friends are. I love those types of people. They just go with the flow w/o a care in the world. No timeframe to get things done. They are not bogged down by their goals and dreams and the need to accomplish all w/in 24 hours. But alas, I am a work in progress. And I really don’t know how Jesus will rid me of this poor habit of worrying. I only know that I am becoming more and more aware of His perfect love which casts out all fear and have experienced frequent moments of peace due to this awareness. I am looking forward to the day I consistently function from that peace.
So those are my weaknesses/imperfections/quirks. Things that make me “me”. Hope you enjoyed the read 🙂
SHALOM
