So this morning I did something I haven’t done in a long time. I looked under my bed, dug out the box decorated in Paris, France symbols, and took out my passport. The passport I purchased nearly 4 years ago that has been collecting dust under my bed.
And I smiled.
Because now I will be using it! Courtesy of one of my best friends, I will be taking a cruise to the Bahamas in a mere two weeks (sorry Cleveland, but Winter is so over-rated). When I flipped the lid of the Paris, France box open I was immediately met with various maps, journals, and other travel items that I had stored several years ago. My heart has been to travel for about 10 years now; as soon as I met Christ I wanted to tell the world about Him. But that wasn’t the path He had for me. Instead, He directed my attention to one small city that had ravished His heart (Songs of Solomon 4:9-10).
And so I tucked away my love for the French language and placed it carefully right along with the other international items in that box. I then hid the box under my bed and set my focus on other things. Things that seemed to be more easily accessible in this season. Without really realizing it, I gave in to “hope deferred”. I took on a mindset that “such and such will never happen to me“…”those are just not the gifts I am given“…”God doesn’t do stuff like that for me“.
But then, all of a sudden, He is showing me something different. There are these subtle changes happening in this season…
The career I’ve been longing for seems to be unfolding slowly and taking shape right before my eyes. Now, it is not the shape I once hoped it would be, but it’s a shape nonetheless. I even spoke to that one auditor that was in my grad school class, and found out the type of hours they work. There is NO WAY I could have done her job long term. I would have been burnt out in less than a year. I would also have no time for other aspects of my life, like friends, and doing volunteer work, or helping my Pastor with her business. I would have been a slave to my career and Christ knew this. So He chose a different path. A better one.
And even the texting, calling-guy is remaining steady. I’m learning lots about myself through him, and that’s pretty cool.
So just when things seem endlessly monotonous and mundane, and dreams are put on hold, and the cold never seems to stop meeting me every morning when I’m trudging through the snow, trying to start my car…all of a sudden I’m on a cruise to the Bahamas, breaking out my passport, and doing something new.
And well, God is showing me once again that I can’t underestimate Him. That He really does have great things for me. And really I can’t fathom what they are…even when I try to.
Elohim is FAITHUFL.