I walk into my kitchen with the intent of heating up some water and mixing it with a package of chocolate powder to get warm and satisfy my sweet craving. But I stop short quickly when I see that he is there. He is there and she is there, but it is him that surprises me because he is not supposed to be there.
That is the rule.
But now the rule is broken and I have to quickly decide how to react. Because last time the rule was broken I responded in rage and anger. Rage and anger that stemmed from hurt from being betrayed and belittled. But that response didn’t seem to help things last time. In fact it made them worse and so now I have to learn from my past mistakes and respond better.
Thoughts of how others would respond race in my mind. Others who love her but are not as “in it” as I am in this season. These others also do not use anger as a “go to”. They have a gift to almost effortlessly love unconditionally; a gift that I have to work at to attain in this season. I think of them and I know that their responses are wisdom and they are Christ-like, so I choose to respond the way that they would. I take a step forward, reach out my hand, introduce myself and engage the unlikely guest. The unlikely guest who was previously unwelcome by me and me alone. But now I make him feel welcome. I ignore that the rule is broken. I ignore that I am hurt once again and proceed to extend hospitality. I amaze her as she watches me respond in a welcoming manner so uncharacteristic of me.
I amaze myself.
And not long into the greetings and tell me about yourself chit chat we have another visitor. I actually expected this visitor and was not surprised when the door bell rang. What I did not expect however was how Yeshua was going to use this visitor to usher in His Spirit and minister to all in the room. The four of us sat there, sipping on tea and hot chocolate and feasting on talk of the kingdom. My visitor and I took the lead and shared the gospel of Christ. We shared that God is not about works. He is not about doing. He is not about right and wrong. The truth of the matter is He is right and we are all wrong, so there is no point in God, or us, keeping score. We all lose. But the blessing is that when we return to the Father, when we return to His Son, we win. And we are made like Him. The questions kept coming from our guest and we kept answering. The prophetic was moving and probably the most surprising event, at least to me, was when I was led to lay hands on him and pray. Per his request I even anointed my hands with olive oil. Of course the Lord would use me of all those in attendance to release the Father’s unconditional love to him, when previously I could not fathom such a thing. But in doing so the Father was shining through me, because it was Him in me that was able to do those things. A couple of hours passed and our guest was blessed. He was shocked.
And so was she.
And so was I.
But in a good way.
The greatest way possible.
From this experience I learned that God’s responses are so much different than our own. They are out of the box, off the radar responses that are ALWAYS, ALWAYS rooted in Love.
My initial response to pain and betrayal has always been anger. Christ’s initial response is and always has been love. Unconditional, relentlessly pursing, jealous over you love.
When I’ve asked the Lord “How will I make it in this season? How will I walk this out?” His response has been “one day at time”. I now see He has responded that way because each day there is a potential for Him to manifest His love and change me in the process. In just a matter of months He has done just that. After 30 years of functioning a certain way, seeing the world a certain way, He has done that. And in hindsight, I have no doubt, that I will look back and see that acquiring that type of maturity, will have made all the pain worth it.
1 Corinthians 13
1 John 4:12
1 John 4:18
All of 1 John 🙂