I have a friend who notices patterns. He’s pretty analytical and I like that about him. I too notice patterns. I’ve noticed that I attract certain personality types. I’ve taken a few personality tests and know that my personality tends to be more “melancholy”. As a result I attract the opposite personality type in my close circle of friends. That would be “the sanguine”. Sanguines are upbeat and positive. They tend to see the glass as half full even when its half empty. I have noticed that in both friendships and dating relationships in my life the Sanguines are there in full form.
But recently I’ve attracted someone even more melancholy than myself. That forces me to be “the sanguine one”. Now its not that I’m never upbeat or happy or positive, its just that I’m used to taking the more serious, analytical, deep thinking role in my close relationships. So it surprised me that I would become close to someone whose personality did not fit the mold of my close circle. That’s when I remembered that I had one very close friend who also did not fit that mold. She too is “melancholy”.
And as I thought about it, I remembered a saying my new friend says often. As much as he likes patterns he says that there are always exceptions.
At the end of the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You the main character finally gives up on this exciting, romantic, passion filled love and settles for the safe, dependable, responsible relationship. She was told by another character that she was “the rule” and the rule did not get the kind of love she dreamed of. But at the end of the movie that same character pursues her. He lets down his guard and bears his soul. She looks at him hesitantly, unsure of weather or not she should trust his display of affection. After all, he was the one who coached her through the whole movie about men and how she couldn’t believe they were really interested in her because of their lack of pursuit. So she says to him, “I thought that I was the rule. You said that I was the rule.” And he reaches for her, leans in and counters her statement. “I was wrong. I was wrong, you are not the rule. You are the exception. You are my exception.”
There have been a surprising turn of events these last few months in my life. I’ve allowed myself to be open and being open makes room for new people to come in. I have followed a set of ideas and ways for most of my spiritual journey and I’m not throwing it all out the window but I see the need for change. I’ve felt it this past year.
So instead of choosing the rule, I’m now choosing the exception.