I stood in the parking lot of the apartment complex and flashbacks one after another clouded my vision. Could it really be that once upon a time I lived here? With him? If not for the memories, which I felt very unattached to, I would not believe that fact. But the memories were plenty and I even had a book I had written about the heartbreak from that relationship. So it must have really happened.
I remembered my grandmother dropping me off at “home” one day. We sat in the car talking. My once favorite person in the whole wide world had been replaced. I was in love. I’m sure it broke her heart to see me in such a state, living with a man unwed. Following the same path of so many before me. Following her own. I’m sure she was wracked with fear that I’d end up pregnant and drop out of school.
I should have ended up pregnant and dropped out of school.
I stood there and thought about our pet. The rabbit we owned that ended up dying. We both grieved heavily for that loss; he was like a child to us.
I thought about how far I had come and realized I was a teenager back then. I’m in my 30s now. A full grown woman. I have come leaps and bounds.
I’m still leaping.
Still overcoming. Still learning my identity and how to have victory in weak areas. Still learning about how much God loves me.
I know her prayers have been answered. The grandmother who interceded on my behalf that I would get out of that toxic relationship. I know He (God) did more in me than she could ever fathom.
It is a beautiful thing when you can reflect on a man who was at one point your whole world and not feel a tinge of loss.
The Father had mercy on me. He taught me true love. I’m still learning.
I’m still overcoming.
SHALOM
