10 years ago I was a college grad who wanted to travel the world, spread the gospel and when I was “old” (around age 40), I would settle down, marry and have kids. I thought I had it all figured out. Before then I was caught up with my boo. I was all about him and his dream and supporting his calling. So initially I was all about my man and then I was all about me. Except I didn’t know it. I thought these were God-given dreams. I thought the best way for me to glorify my Maker was for me to spread the gospel to all nations. Instead, I had to learn to first spread it in my city. To my co-workers. I had to go through a lot of refining myself before I could even think about the harvest He had promised.
Fast forward 10 years later, there have been many afflictions and they have all worked for my good. I couldn’t have fathomed how the waiting and the testing and the BEING was going to transform me into His original intent. This transformation has been so evident to me that even as I am presented with one of my very biggest dreams that I held onto for so long, I do not choose it.
Because my dream has changed.
I am in awe. How can something I wanted so intensely and for so long change?? The opportunity to relocate, the chance to work in my preferred area. How could I say “no”? But I did. Because I am different now. I am learning in this season my purpose is not attached to a job position. It is attached to the will of God and God’s will looks different depending on the season.
We need to know our season.
10 years ago I was unemployed and my mom’s coworker said I needed to look for work b/c “a man who doesn’t work doesn’t eat”. He even used scripture to support his logic. But God had told me not to work during this time.
People will not understand your journey and your choices as you follow Him. But will you still follow Him?
I marvel at my Father’s hand on my life. I marvel at the path I have walked thus far. This path of surrender that has led me to die a plethora of deaths; each one seeming more fatal than the one before. And still, I have not yet “resisted unto blood shed” as He did. The deaths I have experienced have been His mercy and grace to remove the carnal, selfish, immature girl who started this journey with Him as a 19 year old. He has developed her into a less selfish, more mature and more eternally-focused person. I am still growing, still learning, and awakening everyday. But O’ it is so nice to get to this point and stand in awe, and worship Him! And marvel at His work! He has made me into a testimony of His hand.
And I’m just getting started.
Just today I received a card my friend had us address to ourselves this summer during her b day party. The purpose is to encourage your future self. I must say this card arrived right on time as I am celebrating the latest spiritual accomplishments God has done in my life!
I also listened to a very timely sermon this morning, which confirmed so much of my season. I hope you are blessed with this message as well.
Below are pics from time with my sisters earlier this week: