Today I sent a text to my friend telling her I was struggling. I revealed my soul in that text. I shared my inner thoughts in that text. And she did not take it lightly. She understood. And she proceeded to encourage me. I told her about the pain of this season. That, as much as I hated to admit it, it’s been hard. And a sacrifice. And I was so heavy with the pain of that sacrifice. Her response? “Well, the alternative is not to have anything to sacrifice”. Now that hit me. She was referring to our sacrifice to the Lord.
See, I know that one day I am going to be face-to-Face with Him. I’m going to stand before Him, in awe of His glory, in love with His smile and I won’t be able to take my eyes off of Him, along with all of heaven. Because He will radiate with glory and everything else that is spectacular. And I will too because I’ll have my glorified body with my new robe and my new kingdom accessories (which may or may not consist of a head band for my natural hair) and I will be in awe. And I will hear Him say “Well done my good and faithful servant”. I have no doubt that He will say that. Not just because its promised in His word, but its a secret He hid in my heart. Eternity is hidden in our hearts you know. And one day I’ll stand before Him and the pain of this season will be a far away memory of another lifetime. One that was just temporary. And I know, without a doubt, that I am going to wish that I had more to give Him. See I will open my arms to Him, and they will be spread wide, the way they are now, and all that I experienced in this life journey, all of the sacrifice and obedience and self denial He led me through, will be in those hands. And instead of them feeling weighty the way they do right now, they will feel light. They will feel so light because then I will be in eternity. And trials and tests are so light compared to eternity. Paul said it himself. And instead of me feeling like I had a real gift to give Him, you know Jesus, I’m going to look at the scars on His hands, and His feet, and I’ll probably want to hide my small tokens that are on display, because they fail so much in comparison to His. I have no doubt that I’m going to feel like this pain and the dying to self I experienced was worth so little when compared to what He gave, even though what I gave cost me my most dearest possessions. Even though what I gave, I valued, even in some cases more than Him. And I had to give those things up, because they were rivaling His worship.
I’m reminded of all this when my friend says “The alternative is to not have anything at all to give”.
The truth about this season is that its both good and bad. I experience great encouragement and I experience great pain. I often try to focus on the encouragement. But I realized today that a true sacrifice is nothing if it does not have pain. Christ was the ultimate sacrifice and He went through the worst pain. So I too, in my own very minimal, very small way, partake in His sufferings. Partake in the grace it took for Him to lay down His life for His Father.
I do this with only a far away glimpse that one day my riches in heaven will be given to me. That one day I will see Him face to Face, and I will wish that I could have given Him even more than I gave. That I could give Him my all 10 times over.
He is worthy.