Marriage at Its Finest

Saturday evening I was wandering aimlessly as my day’s plans had changed and I suddenly found myself with too much time on my hands (I know, I know, poor me). I was trying not to give in to temptation so prior to the cinema starting I made a last ditch effort and texted a friend to see if they were free later on. “We are doing x,y and z now but you’re welcome to come”, they responded. I explained I was headed to a movie and after thinking it over decided to let them in on a little secret.

I was struggling.

I was struggling not to fall that night and wasn’t sure if even letting them in on this secret would keep me. Turns out it did…very much so. After the movie I received a call from my friend the newlywed who had no doubt been made privy to my struggle through her sister-in-law who was also the friend I texted earlier that day. She and her new hubby had been thinking of me and wanted to treat me to dessert. Funny thing is I had every intention of avoiding her. I felt that seeing her would be a reminder of what I was toying with giving up…waiting on God’s best. Funny how much you can justify settling when it’s your own heart that’s in jeopardy as opposed to a loved one’s. I think I would have written a different post on this matter had I given myself just a few weeks more to meet my own weaknesses face to face.

So I took them up on their offer, extremely touched that they were leaving newlywed land to meet up with little old me. They picked me up and we had ice cream that night with siblings and a super cute niece and nephew. The chocolate and peanut butter sunday I had was nice and sweet but the fellowship was even sweeter. The couple that sat across from me were radiating with love…but not just love for each other. They were radiating with love for me. It was Christ’s love and it melted my heart in so many ways. They did not bring up my sin. They did not bring up my struggle. They just loved on me and conversed. They didn’t pry and even though it was clear this little gathering was on my behalf, such words never left their lips. It was a beautiful sight to behold their ministry
as husband and wife, and even more touching to be one of the first recipients of it. It was especially amazing to me because I’ve always believed newlyweds have a right to be lost in their own little world. They have a right to be selfish for a period of time, but my friend shared some wisdom on this topic that night. She reminded me that the purpose of marriage is to demonstrate Christ’s love for His Bride, the Church. His love is quite the opposite of selfishness. She also shared that seeking Him first will bring their marriage the intimacy and bonding they need (Matthew 6:33).

I never would have imagined during all those nights spent discussing with her about the future husbands, that God would bless so well. But as her hubby poured into me, encouraging me with his own testimony, it once again confirmed Christ’s desire to give us His best. Give us just what we need. If only we choose to wait for it…

There are moments, days, seasons of loneliness in singleness. There are temptations and unmet desires. There are challenges one faces in this lifestyle which those who have not walked this path have no way of relating to. And that’s ok, because we all have our own cup. We all have our own path. My path is filled with loved ones who aren’t blood related and rich blessings full of grace and God’s intimacy. He makes Himself known to me
in the most beautiful ways, perhaps ways others have not experienced. Truly I have found favor in His sight.

He sets the single in families. Even though I desire my own family, until that day He has been faithful to surround me with other households. Other families who understand the importance of extending themselves. Other marriages that walk out their purpose as man and wife which is to advance His kingdom by any means necessary. Even if it means encouraging a fellow sister in the Lord with a little icecream and a lot of love.


By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog Better Than Wine. Her books are published at and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business ( when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.


Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: