The Perfect Gentleman


Saturday night he was a little late, but it was my fault b/c I kept changing our meeting time.  It had been 2 years since we last seen each other and he had been on my heart lately.  I knew we needed to connect and hang out so finally I took him up on his offer to take me out.  I was pleasantly surprised when he intentionally walked ahead of me to open the car door but I was going to see that this was the standard he set for himself and met the rest of the evening.  We fell into comfortable conversation, “how’s work, how’s life, what have you been up to the last 2 years?”.  We made our way to a restaurant nearby but it was extremely packed so we walked down to another familiar spot.  “I only want to sit outside”, I shared, I didn’t have any other preferences.  So we sat outside and ordered drinks and enjoyed each other’s company.  The weather was perfect, the night was young and so were we.  The topics of relationships eventually surfaced.  He shared about a serious relationship he had been in and about the breakup.  I listened and encouraged him in his journey of love, silently praying for his healing.  We were briefly interrupted by his phone which continued to vibrate from a persistent caller. He fervently apologized, explaining it was his brother who was out of town and would only call if it were an emergency.  I completely understood and explained I too have a sister whose call I would take in the middle of a date.

This sister of course is really my friend but to me those words are one and the same.

When he returned to the table after making his call we talked more about family, relationships, future goals, etc…And suddenly it was time to leave and catch our movie.  I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to pay for myself or not but was prepared to do so.  I didn’t want to make any assumptions, but of course he insisted on paying.  Again, he opened the door to the car and we were on our way.  The 35 minute drive proved to be a success as we were both unsure about the directions. Thankfully Magellan was faithful to guide us.  We were running a little late but learned the next showing would start in a few minutes so we didn’t have to miss out on the beginning of the film; the sequel to a comedy of which I had only seen parts of the original.  We laughed and talked during the movie and made our way back to the car when it was over.

It was late, I had a long day and the sleepiness I was fighting began settling in.  I tried to hide my yawns, not wanting him to think they were from boredom, but he saw that my eyes were drooping anyways.  I quickly apologized but explained it was really due to my introvertedness.  Well that led to a discussion about introverts versus extroverts as he was sure I was an extrovert.  I explained social media has a way of portraying one to be more social than they really are.  I admitted to becoming more extroverted as I’ve gotten older, however I still need my down time.  I conceded that the nap I had that afternoon was a big help in me being able to make it that long into the night.  Not sure if he really believed me, but I’m holding on to my stance as an introvert :-).  At some point he reminded me of his last request to take me out and the reason I gave for turning him down.  That reason was that I was not interested in him romantically and I did not want to mislead him.  He shared that he just wanted to spend time
together and he didn’t understand my reasoning.  I didn’t share this with him, but I now see that previously I viewed life as being more black and white.  I was an all or nothing kind of gal.  It’s a part of my personality to be that way.  Yet as I’ve matured I am learning that things are not
always so black and white.  Time spent with another does not have to have a romantic purpose.  Like Saturday evening, the purpose can be to affirm another in their beauty and their value.

The evening ended with a chaste hug and plans for him to attend my church the next morning, which he did.  I went to bed encouraged.  The respect I received that evening touched my heart in a way few have and I was blessed by this perfect gentleman.  He’s definitely raised the bar for whoever comes after him…

By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog Better Than Wine. Her books are published at and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business ( when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.

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