I remember at the beginning of this very difficult season Holy Spirit said “fight!” and I responded “I don’t want to”. I’m usually honest in my responses to Him because that’s what happens when you have a close relationship with someone. And He already knows my heart anyway so there’s no reason to dabble in pretense. He was telling me I would need to walk out this season and I knew it was going to entail some horrors that I did not want to face. And that I would feel so very alone when facing them. But I made my decision long ago to follow Him so even though I said, “I don’t want to” that didn’t mean I wouldn’t. It just meant that I was once again choosing to do things His way over my own.
The real reason I didn’t want to was because I didn’t trust Him and I didn’t trust myself. Though we had been through many battles and I had seen victory every time I knew this particular battle would be a doozy and I was tired of the fight. I wanted to rest. But recently I heard a sermon where the minister advised that when you are called and chosen there is usually one thing after another that is going to come up against you. I don’t like to have that view because it seems so negative but I couldn’t refute the fact that this was what had been happening in my journey: one thing after another.
Well, I have experienced much victory in this season though I am still walking it out, and upon reflection I can see that the Father was confident that I would be able to slay this giant when He called me to fight it. He was confident because He knows who I am eternally. Whereas I was insecure and fearful because I knew my weaknesses.
I remember a scene from “Hook” where Robin Williams who is Peter Pan, is standing in front of the lost boys and his competition Rufio opposes him. Robin doesn’t remember he is Peter Pan. He thinks he’s this old man who lives for his work and doesn’t spend enough time with his children. Instead he is the leader of a group of zealous, bright boys who seek adventures, fly and fight pirates. So Rufio says for all who think he’s Peter Pan to stand on one side of the room and all the lost boys go to that side. Well, Peter starts to go to that side too because he himself doesn’t believe! But Tink brings him back to the other side and eventually one of the boys convinces the rest that he is really The Peter Pan. Well, I see myself in that moment of confusion over identity that Robin displays. I didn’t see myself as being a slayer of a giant of this magnitude. I started to go to the side of the room with the rest of my naysayers. But God (symbolized as Tink in this analogy) pulled me back to the right side.
And I’m glad He did.
I was right about the horror and the darkness. I was even right about my own weaknesses. But I forgot about His strength in me. I forgot that He who is in me is greater than He who is the world.
I am thankful that He promises in His Word victory every time (2 Cor 2:14). It may not look the way we thought it would or come about in the time frame we desired, but it is promised.
No matter how great the giant, He who is in you is greater.
You were created in His image and nothing can conquer the Creator.