Starting Off At A Deficit

Social media is one of those things that it is what you make it.  It can be a great way to celebrate life or a reminder of what you do not have.  For the most part I enjoy seeing the celebrations shared but sometimes I could go without seeing them. Sometimes I get a little discouraged by the gifts of others.

Like pictures that show women and girls with close knit families. Pictures of daughters who have fathers to affirm them and men in their lives who know their worth. They were not birthed into “complicated” situations. There was no trauma, drama, addiction or abuse in their bloodline. Their family isn’t perfect (no family is) and they have other challenges that’s for certain, but these are not their challenges and that fact, is their gift.

These girls don’t have to overcome generational strongholds, or fight an uphill battle in the areas that I have. When you start off at a deficit that’s what has to happen: you have to fight. 

You have to fight to recover from self inflicted pain, misguided love, broken covenants, etc… You have to fight for peace and soundness of mind and wholeness. For sure, everyone has to discover their true identity which takes work, but some have to do more work then others.

My story isn’t having the proper foundation. There were a lot of deficits. But thankfully there were people there who overcame their own deficits. And even when they didn’t they prayed that I would be able to.

My family doesn’t look like the typical family. Instead it is a hodgepodge of people mostly not blood related.  These people genuinely love me.

And where there was no father, no man to affirm me and teach me my value, there was The Father. He came in, revealed Himself and called me His own.

Some days its hard appreciating my gift and wishing I could have had that better foundation, but I am reminded even as I type these words that “Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character and character hope”-Romans 5:4.

How can one be called resilient lest they persevere through the difficulty? How can one be an overcomer lest they have something to overcome?

So even when there is a deficit, a weakness, a perceived area of lack, God becomes the surpluss. He becomes the strength where we are weak. And He gets all the glory for helping us to overcome.

Here are just a few of the people in my life who love me dearly…


By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog Better Than Wine. Her books are published at and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business ( when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.


  1. I enjoyed your testimony as always. Your growth in yourself is making you available for growth in others no matter what their age may be or anything else but having an open mind and ears to hear others can help give people something to think about in your easy way of sharing the real deal. Sometimes people know they are feeling a certain way but unable to put it into words to help themselves to be able to accept the past for what it was and now move on to greener pastures – it may take time but an evaluation of yourself is the first step to better living within yourself and then able to share life and love in a better manner. You are being used by God to help others no matter where they may be in their life’s journey to help make it better for all who care about themselves and others. As long as your are real, I believe that you are making a positive difference in your own life and will help others along the way.l The road is not always crooked or straight but moving forward is good I believe. God gives each of us gifts but sometimes it may take a while to realize what it is or how to use it once you know but when you know that you know, God will help you walk the walk and talk the talk that help people to wake up wherever they are in their own life’s journey, we are here for each other – not by ourselves. It is good to have good – true friends and to be a friend also. I have always valued friendships and do not take them lightly!.

  2. I agree wholeheartedly with Linda–>> You are being used by God to help others no matter where they may be in their life’s journey. That so captures how God is using your story to bring hope and healing to others.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: