Dating Challenge- Day 14

I am on Day 14 of the TLD challenge, 7 more days to go! All I can say is this program really pulls on your heart strings. I feel like my heart is wide open to the Father and I am naked before Him. I finally realize He is the only one I can give my whole heart to. So many times in the past I have made the mistake of giving my whole heart to people who did not deserve it. I basically “cast my pearls before swine”. I had no wisdom and did not use boundaries and over and over again I would face heartbreak. I did not see the pattern and therefore kept repeating it. I actually had to apologize to my heart the other night. I felt its bruises and scars because I did not take care of it. I finally understand the passage of scripture “guard your heart for out of it flows the issues of life”.

Often I wore my heart on my sleeve. I loved openly and lavishly, but I now realize as Debra Fileta shared, I need to “offer the amount of your heart that that person has earned”. God reminded me that on the book cover of my book “How to Overcome Heartbreak” there is a picture of two hands holding a heart, offering it upward. That is such a great message to me that only He is safe with my whole heart. And I’m learning that as other individuals prove they are safe enough I can share parts of my heart.

Whew, it has been a long time coming but I’m finally learning! God is patient and faithful with us ☺️. I’m grateful He has been so encouraging toward me in this season. I have struggled with consistency in functioning from His love and not letting fear rule, but He has not given up on me. Instead, He keeps using others to encourage me and keep me moving forward.

I am so encouraged to see the transformation occurring in a good friend. We have been friends since we were teenagers and to see her maturity and growth amazes me. I remind myself, that the beautiful wonder I see manifesting in her is being mirrored in myself. Who knew God had this on the other side of such a hard season? And of course it is still difficult. There is still pain and brokenness. But I am determined to make it to the end. In today’s assignment of the Dating Challenge we were told to write out a dating statement. Here is mine:

“From this day forward, I choose to receive the Father’s unconditional, agape, eternal love. I receive His love and I offer His love to others. I choose to use wisdom in my relationships and establish emotional and physical boundaries. I choose to function from His love so I am not functioning from fear of abandonment, being alone, being too much or not being enough. I choose to love myself with His love, seeing my value, treating myself accordingly and upholding a standard for others to do the same. I choose not to change myself to meet other’s ideas of who I am, but to be who He has called me to be. I choose to rest in His love for me, knowing His timing and plan will yield to me the best possible outcome because He is for me and not against me. He knows me inside and out and knows what path will bring forth His good intentions toward me. He is faithful to bring healthy relationships into my life as I practice getting healthy. I choose to wait for His best and not settle because He has confirmed to me He is first and foremost making me His best so that I can receive His best.”

That pretty much sums up my heart. Everytime I get overwhelmed at the task to walk in freedom and healing in this area Christ reminds me, “You can do nothing apart from me”. I have to remember, it is His grace to bring forth my wholeness.

These last few weeks have been full of difficulties. From terrorisms to murders and a plethora of injustices. There is much darkness in this earth. But I was so encouraged when my friend and I were talking about these things the other day and she ended the conversation with “yes, there is much darkness, but we are getting healthy”. And we couldn’t help but marvel at God. Because even as the darkness is dispersing, He is bringing forth the light. In us.

Below is a picture of me and my spiritual parents from this weekend. I adore them.

Oh and today marks 2 years of being natural!! Go me 😉


By Nicole D. Miller

Nicole D. Miller is an author and heartfelt writer, as expressed on her blog Better Than Wine. Her books are published at and on Amazon. She loves all things “old school” hip-hop and R&B, along with any outfit that involves cute boots and thick scarves. She even manages to run her own bookkeeping business ( when she’s not cuddling her cute cat she fondly calls, “Squeaks”.


  1. Happy hair anniversary! I’ve also been reading John 15 a lot and it seems like an on time word for this season. Aslan on the move!

  2. Beautifully written! Keep sharing….your writing is a blessing and encouragement to many 🙂
    & seems like its been way longer than 2 years

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